let-me-leave-this-place00

Latest Posts by let-me-leave-this-place00

Pretty like blood in snow

Pretty like feathers in a vase

Pretty like dried flowers

Pretty like art of bones

Pretty like decaying fleah

Pretty like rotting stones

Pretty like tired nights

Pretty like dying leaves

Pretty like broken glass

Pretty like bleach stains on a black shirt

Pretty and fragile

Pretty and gone

Me in the mirror on a daily basis

Ahh no dont kill yourself ahhh you're too sexy

They look my life and let me live

Pretty like tired nights

Pretty like dying leaves

Pretty like broken glass

Pretty like bleach stains on a black shirt

Pretty and fragile

Pretty and gone

I just wanna stick a knife in my arm

:3

Death is creeping in

I feel it in my skin

Can I reach the light

If I don’t want to live

Holding on to life

Is not my fight to fight

If I’m not with you

i just wanna fucking slice my wrists till i bleed to death

I love you but my story cannot go on any longer

Im the sequel no one wanted

Im the story the writer hates the most

Im the book searching desperately for an ending

For a close

You're the person who wants it to go on

But a book cant go on forever

In oceans deep, where the darkness grows

I’ve built a wall, a heart of stone

No whispering winds, no embers glow

I choose the dark, I walk alone

No visitors allowed

No exit to leave

What’s done is done

In solitude, I choose me

Haha me every day

If only they knew....

If they only knew....

Kill meeee i cant do this shitttt its all to much

As if life just kept going, the world spinning, people laughed, talking, breathing –

... and you're standing in the middle of it, but motionless. Mute. Decoupled.

As if you were just a spectator of your own existence.

Cvts myself

Decided im done and bored

Why's this hurt im annoyed now

“I think hell is something you carry around with you. Not somewhere you go.”

— Neil Gaiman, The Sandman

Might fuck around shoot myself in the head

Now wouldn't that be funny

i have the urge to hurt myself every single day. it's all i think about and yet i don't. and then i hate myself for not doing so.

I feel... wrong for not being covered in scars and not taking control of the uncontrollable. i don't know how to explain it

Just a poem I wrote..

So let the winds carry my body,

To brighter places, where you might be,

Lift me up above the clouds

I’ll search all of Tennessee

I wish I didn’t have to unlove,

But know, in dreams, you’re still my dove

A love that never quite got to run

We walked, we crawled, and laid to rest under the sun

I wish I didn’t have to unlove

A bottomless black hole I see

Where nothing lives, and sadness feeds

A soul rotting into the other

Decomposing in the depths of eternity

In the vast darkness that entangles me

I’ll always remember you in the fall

That’s where it first began

I wish I didn’t have to unlove you at all.

I cant fucking do this

Like I cant handle anything

Idk what to do

I cant i just cant I csnt

Haha

Real

Tw sh talk

I need to slit my wrists

I need to watch the blood run down my arm

I need to watch my skin forced apart

I need to feel the stinging as I slice my flesh open

The release as pain is the only thing I feel

I need to watch the scars form

I need to feel the sting when I shower

The pain as it rubbs against my clothes

For this is my punishment isn't it

How are you supposed to just get up and go to school and go to work and come home and make dinner and fold the laundry and not want to kill yourself the whole fucking time.

Yeah why im in so much pain i feel like im dying why not just be dying

Why isnt the suffocation from depression enough to kill me?

kinda tired fighting for a life i don’t even want

They say go to therapy

It'll help

Then why dose every therapy session end in me wanting to kill myself more

You ask why I didn't reply to your text

I wanted too

But the weight of a conversation felt impossible to carry

You ask why I dont text back

I tried too

But I was scared id say the wrong thing

You ask why I never tell you things

I want to

But im scared you'll hate me for everything I do

You ask why I dont talk

I tried too

The words couldnt seem to come out

You ask why I dont wanna be your friend

I want to

But I couldnt handle you leaving

So I left first

So I've been on and off adhd meds for a bit

And I've noticed sonthing

On them its quiet. Quiet in the way where I want to sink into it. I lay in my bed and just dissociate. Quiet in the way my thoughts try to fill the silence. At least i can focus better. When the silence isn't filling me with anxiety and thoughts of my own death.

But off them

It's loud. I can be happy and energetic. And quiet and disengaged. There's so many things running through my head constantly. I have more motivation. Can I focus? No. But that way I cant focus on my own demise either.

Idk what to do. In school, being on them is worth it cuz I cant pass my classes without them. But otherwise its just

Let me sleep lol

If anyone has any advice for finding adhd meds that work and dont wanna make me kms and give me crippling anxiety-- please lmk

When did showers become a space to cry

And not a space where we sung

When did our bed become a refuge and tomb

And not the place where we slept

When did school become a thing of dread and misery

And not a space of joy

When did our parents become our enemy

And not the people we looked up to the most

When did pencil sharpeners become refuge

And not a simple tool

When did it all start to hurt

When did I stop loving you