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So I've been on and off adhd meds for a bit
And I've noticed sonthing
On them its quiet. Quiet in the way where I want to sink into it. I lay in my bed and just dissociate. Quiet in the way my thoughts try to fill the silence. At least i can focus better. When the silence isn't filling me with anxiety and thoughts of my own death.
But off them
It's loud. I can be happy and energetic. And quiet and disengaged. There's so many things running through my head constantly. I have more motivation. Can I focus? No. But that way I cant focus on my own demise either.
Idk what to do. In school, being on them is worth it cuz I cant pass my classes without them. But otherwise its just
Let me sleep lol
If anyone has any advice for finding adhd meds that work and dont wanna make me kms and give me crippling anxiety-- please lmk