Karlach Cliffgate - Blog Posts

okay, no shade, but youre missing out on SO much good characters moments if your girlbossify the bg3 women too much. i get it, they're big, strong, badass, but they are, like all bg3 companions, incredibly cringe in their own ways that i think we could stand to appreciate more.

lae'zel throws the worlds biggest meltdown anytime you do anything not directly related to the githyanki creche, only to almost get her shit immediately rocked. lae'zel on modern day stan twitter would be a shitshow and you cant convince me otherwise. and thats before we even mention her fighting you in act two and then immediately crying about it. babygirl its okay, we were only playing. AND TRYING TO KISS HER IN PUBLIC?? she acts big and bad in act 1, fighting rough with you the entire time, but as soon as you ask her for a little kiss? immediate embarrassment. she could absolutely wreck my shit, but shes still a meow meow.

shadowheart is just fantasy catholic. she gets mad if you pick up a statue of selûne bc shes just that catholic. dyes her hair white in a desperate emo crisis of faith moment. recites smut in public. makes jokes that land incredibly flat. is acting way cooler and more chill than she actually is to hide the fact that shes scared. SHE CHOSE THE NAME SHADOWHEART. need i say more?

karlach may be cringe but she is free, i will give her this. she gets the zoomies. she almost blows up a firework shop with her in it because shes so excited. she has a teddy bear called clive. she hasnt read a book since secondary school. she does a little dancy dance if you leave her alone for too long. her inner monologue is just about how horny she is for most people. bisexual failgirl. i love her.

and then the biggest cringefail of them all, minthara. the fact that she absolutely cannot see that every companion at camp actually does grow to really like, love, and respect her bc shes expecting treachery (bc thats what SHE would have done) is as sad as it is just a liiiiittle bit funny. darling. my wife. people like and care about you. not to mention the fact that shes been poisoning you the entire time shes been travelling with you???? cant communicate for the life of her. regularly threatens to kill you but then gets mad if you die. emotionally stunted loserbabe. we will have a july wedding........

what im SAYING isnt that the girls ARENT badass and compotent and cool, what im SAYING is that the lads shouldnt have a monopoly on complexity and depth. you get me?

bg3 romance woes

just got the scene with talking to Gale under the night sky in act 2 (beautiful scenery btw) and GOD. HOW in the HELLS am I supposed to romance anyone BUT him now??!

On the other hand, I want to romance Astarion and as much as I CAN NOT for the life of me find it easy to reject Gale, hurting Astarion in any way, shape or form would immediately reduce me to a pathetic puddle of tears.

WHY can I not romance both of them UGGHHH this is torture.

not to mention the fact that I have the hots for like EVERY romancable AND unromancable npc in this GODDAMN game.

like Lae’zel (she’s so endearing for some reason what the hell??), KARLACH oh my GOD (Shadowheart knows what’s up, I NEED her to carry me and OMG she calls herself Mama K I CAN’T), Wyll ugggghh (he’s underrated and I WON’T stand for it) Shadowheart (fuck, god’s favorite emo princess I love her so muchhhh). That motherfucker HALSIN (what a HUNK of an elf they had NO RIGHT making him so glorious) even Minthara who I finally got in Act 2 now.

and when it comes to the UNROMANCABLE people. Don't even get me STARTED. Raphael you god damn majestic asshole. Haarlep (I’d feed him, that’s all I’ll say about the matter), Alfira (the REAL reason why I’ll never do a Durge playthrough, I CAN NOT ever lay a finger on her). Larkrissa (I love her and Alfira plus them TOGETHER so fucking much), ROLAN (stupid prickly wizard), Dammon (he’s just SO everything, don’t make me explain, I’ll go on and on for hours)

this game is a bisexual NIGHTMARE and on one hand I LIVE for it, on the other, I’d like to sue

I‘m sooo normal (feral) about them

The thing that Baldur's Gate got right is that each companion is both extremely cool, tempered with an appropriate dose of cringe.

Gale is a powerful wizard. He uses the phrase 'pish posh' unironically.

Lae'zel is a badass. She asks you to fight her and then gets emotional because you're fighting even though that was her idea.

Karlach. Badass. But we've all seen her idle dance moves.

Wyll is this swashbuckling vigilante and he has a pose he does whenever he says his own superhero name.

Shadowheart. Dark backstory, still striving so hard for the light. Makes a joke about poisonous flowers that falls incredibly flat.

Astarion. Capable rogue and a dangerous vampire. He practises his one-liners ahead of time. Within earshot of the people he wants to use them on.

Welcome In!

Hey everyone! Thanks for stopping by my little corner of the internet. My name's Blue. Here, you can find all my writing in one place, as well as my rules for requests. I hope you enjoy your stay!

FYI: This blog is 18+. If you do not have your age in your bio, I will block you.

Rules:

This blog is my safe space, and by extension, I want it to be other people's safe space, too. I will not tolerate any sort of hateful messaging or discriminatory language. If you have critiques of my writing, I always love feedback, but remember that I'm human too, so please be kind to me and others. I'm down for a healthy debate on any fandom topic, and I love hearing other people's opinions about characters or plot elements. Let's just keep it civil!

I'm currently writing for just BG3, but that may change in the future.

Requests: Currently open

Character List:

Astarion

Gale

Wyll

Lae'zel

Karlach

Shadowheart

Raphael/Haarlep

Rolan

Zevlor

Gortash

Halsin

Minthara

What I will write:

Character x Reader

Fluff

Angst (but expect happy endings lol, my heart can't take unresolved conflict)

Smut (see list of kinks below)

Canon compliant

Non-canon compliant

What I will not write:

Dubcon/Noncon/Incest etc.

Any smut involving body fluids that aren't usually present during sex

Roleplay (unless the request interests me)

Character x Character

I'm open to writing about character death, but nothing involving death of major characters

Kinks I'm cool with writing (including but not limited to):

Bondage

Breeding

Spitting

Consensual hitting/spanking etc.

Voyeurism

Dom/sub situations

I'll write situations involving suspected cheating, but nothing involving actual cheating

Just like the Bill of Rights, just because it's not listed above, does not mean something isn't included. If you have questions about what I will/won't write, just ask!

Masterlist

Astarion

Break of Dawn

Ongoing longfic following the adventures and really complicated feelings of a Lathanderian tiefling cleric and Astarion refusing to admit they're in love

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

I never knew I needed Karlach getting excited over my favorite animal until now 🥰 🐸

After 10 years locked in the hells, little things like frogs are mesmerizing. Karlach 100% made the group stop every time a cute critter appeared on their journey.

Taters

BG3 x Hades school project

Had to pick 2 medias and make one in the art style of the other... So here is BG3 in the Hades artstyle !

Had to draw characters, backgrounds, props and illustration !