Latest Posts by somnambulant-snowball - Page 5

Me: "Hmm, I've been of tumblr for a whole month now, I think I'm ready to go back."

Tumblr:

Me: "...yup, definitely. it's calling out to me."

I just woke up. I haven't even sat up yet. I go on the tumblr dot com to help wake my brain up. And this horny mailman porn is what greets me.

It sounds straight out of homestuck. You could have told me that this was how everyone's favorite mailman, MC, was conceived and I would have believed you. I want to go back to sleep to escape this, but I don't want to see what kinds of weird-ass dreams I'd have. I'm stuck with the knowledge, no matter what. Forever.

Good morning, y'all...

Okay, so I'm /actually/ about to write a porn fic to AO3, and I'm interested in knowing what the difference is between the M rating and E rating. Able to enlighten me?

Mature is ‘and then they made love.’ Explicit is ‘and here’s how they did it exactly.’

To wit: mature.

He looked at the envelope, spread out before him.

God, he’d never been this hungry.

Could he be gentle enough? Slow enough? He didn’t want to damage it, didn’t want to do anything he’d regret… but no, no, it seemed the envelope wanted this as much as he did. It slipped into his hands, it folded as he asked. When it was time for more, the card was waiting, and he somehow knew exactly what to do. He moved with his correspondence in a dance as old as the mail system, and when it was over, he was smiling and the envelope was completely, thoroughly sealed.

Explicit:

The envelope waved its flap in the air slowly, gently, and he could see the faint shimmer of the adhesive traced along its fold. It was like a taunt, a dare: won’t you? And he would, oh, God, he would, lifting the envelope firmly to his lips, licking slowly at first, then faster, more firmly, tasting the envelope’s essence, the faint bitterness, the sweetness to follow–

Oh, he couldn’t help but smile at how it felt in his hands. It was so perfectly folded. Its paper was rough against his fingers, and its crossed folds shifted slightly as it opened for his eager tongue. Yes, yes…

Now the card, and his hand trembled as he lifted it, as he held the envelope, stretching it wide. Would it fit? Oh… oh, yes, it would fit, it slid in smooth and quick and filled the envelope to bursting, oh, made for each other, and he smiled in delight at how perfect it was.

He was ready. Now, now, now: with one swift movement he folded the flap over and he pressed, yes, he pressed the flap down and it stuck, God, it stuck perfectly, and he closed his eyes in bliss.

Afterwards, he stroked the envelope, and thought about addresses.

Hey question: did Elwurd actually have some kind of obsession with guacamole or did I somehow convince myself she did for some reason? I'm so confused.

OH MY GOD this is so perfect I love it!!!! 💜 thank you!!!

Bonk.

Inspired by this post, lmaooo.

And thus, a friendship was born.

(text source: beetledrink, creepsandcrawlers, kramergate, and laflenkenway on tumblr)

“think of my tiny legs!” Lots of trolls definitely don’t need to be told twice to think about MC’s legs, just sayin…

(text source: milgramexperiment and theoryofwar on tumblr)

I also want a sea slug.

(text source: teenytinyfrog and oracleoftheorzhov on tumblr)

NOT AGAIN

international cut your hair like your icon day how screwed are you 

This is…very relatable.

(text source: ndiecity, toastpotent, and some anon on tumblr)

She’s preparing them for the journey ahead!

(text source: dennys and emily-playz-yt on tumblr)

scary

(text source: tvguts on tumblr)

So I’m thinking I’m gonna make a series of these with Marsti as a waitress. She's just so memeable!

(text source: sagihairius on tumblr)

…biiiiiitch

(text source: greydelisle on tumblr)

Shit.

you’re stuck living with your icon for a month have fun

“I wasn’t born, I was hatched, what are you ta/king about?“

Also “libro” is Spanish for book!

(text source: gourmetgay on tumblr)

I mean either could help with like stress relief

(text source: JasonLastName on twitter)

She puts up with so much bs.

(text source: svveetlemonade, grandchilds, alyssathesquirrel, and rickytee on tumblr)

Happy pride month, folks!!!!

(text sources: JoeJohnsonIce, arthoedotcom, loopusOMG, and inknose on twitter)

I don't necessarily ship all these, I just put whoever I thought was the most fitting, but I think the dynamics are really interesting to think about! Anyway, Polypa should host her own dating show.

(text source: GilpinGrace on twitter)

GENIUS!!! THANKS!!!

I just couldn’t resist!

Also, is there a word for like a weaboo, but for France?

I just couldn’t resist!

Also, is there a word for like a weaboo, but for France?

it them!

(text source: spacefroggity on tumblr)

Some life advice for aspiring young punks!

(text source: onlyfoolsandvikings and melonfucker4)

I made these edits years ago and I still don't know why.

Advice from your local worm eater!

(text source: rainbowcolouredshoes and andthebluestblue on tumblr)

Y'all can send me asks if you want to see any specific characters!

(text source: lobaatomy on tumblr)

*mic drop*

This sounds like something my older brother would say while hyped up on sugar and complaining about my taste.

(text source: claroquequiza on tumblr)

I started making this one in March last year and I only figured out how to make it work just recently. I put so much time and effort into it and learned a lot about editing in the process and I love how it turned out!! Please enjoy!!!

(text source: saywhatjessie on tumblr)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (text source: ghostbud, charlesoberonn, and rychu2 on tumblr)

This is what they talk about while they wait for MC to show up for anime club. (text source: fozzie and shinysylveon on tumblr)