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Jason: idk bro, i should probably kiss him
Eric:
Nick:
Rachel:
Salim:
Jason: what?
-eric interrogating Salim-
Eric: Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole, truth, and nothing but the truth?
Salim: no
Eric:
eric, into his walkie talkie: what do I do now?
Jason: You're wearing makeup.
Salim: Oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?
Jason: Looks... okay, I guess.
*later*
Jason, sobbing into Nick's shoulder: IT LOOKED SO GOOD!
Nick: I know, Jason.
Jason: I'M SO GAY!
Nick: I know, Jason.
Jason: *extremely drunk, starts colouring Salim with a highlighter*
Salim: Erm... What are you doing?
Jason: Highlighting you.
Salim: Yes, I see that... Why?
Jason: Cuz you're important.
Jason: We're playing scrabble. It's a nightmare
Salim: Scrabble? I like scrabble!
Nick: Not when you're playing with Rachel. She puts words like 'ephemeral' and we put words like 'dog'
*nick and eric start dating*
Rachel, bewildered: What the hell just happened? Jason: Something gay lmao Rachel: You’re gay
Salim: for me!
salim is jason’s manic pixie dream boy
Rachel: Ah yes, the four love languages.
Rachel, pointing at Eric: “My family never told me they were proud of me”
Rachel, pointing at Salim: “I'm so fucking tired please god just let me rest for five minutes”
Rachel, pointing at Nick: “Please pay attention to me”
Rachel, pointing at Jason: “Touch Starved”
Jason: Salim is the kind of person that makes everyone think about them all the time, even when you’re asleep, right?
Rachel: I don’t think of Salim all the time
Eric: I don’t dream about Lieutenant Othman
Nick: When you say everyone, do you mean yourself?
Jason: Yo dumbass, get over here.
Nick: Okay-
Salim *gleefully runs past*: I’m coming!
Nick *sadly*: I thought... I was dumbass...
Jason: You can’t make everyone like you. You’re not Salim.
Nick: Not everybody likes Salim.
Jason: Who doesn’t?
Nick: What?
Jason: Names, now. Give me their names.
Jason: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you.
Jason: Ask me to kill for you.
Salim: ...First of all, calm down-
Semper Fi? more like Simper Fi, amirite?