Jason: Salim Is The Kind Of Person That Makes Everyone Think About Them All The Time, Even When You’re

Jason: I would die for you

Salim: I would die for you too

Jason, suddenly very emotional: Please don’t

Re-blog this if:

- you’re gay - can read - support gay people - want to hold a match between your fingers as you wander the halls of an ancient castle because it’s your only source of light amidst the ghosts of people long past - are an antelope - or want a chocolate bar.

No one will know which applies.

Nick: What happened to my fun girlfriend?

Rachel: I was never fun, you take that back.

*nick and eric start dating*

Rachel, bewildered: What the hell just happened? Jason: Something gay lmao Rachel: You’re gay

Salim: for me!

Nick: so… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Salim recently.

Jason: no, Nicky, its not what it looks like, I swear.

Nick: oh really? so no reason for me to be jealous?

Jason: no! you’re the only one for me.

Nick: is that so?

Jason: i promise! Salim and I are just dating, okay? He’s my boyfriend.

Nick: so there are no best-friends-feelings involved?

Jason: you are still my one and only best friend! He’s just the love of my life, nothing more!

Nick: but I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?

Jason: of course bro!

Nick: bro...

Salim: what the-

Jason: GOOGLE SHABOOZEY RIGHT NOW.

Nick: I know who Shaboozey is.

Jason: GO TO GOOGLE.COM AND GOOGLE SHABOOZEY RIGHT NOW.

Salim: Who is Shaboozey?? Okay I'll Google him. OH!!

Jason: I DISCOVERED THIS WHEN I DECIDED TO GOOGLE SHABOOZEY ONCE.

Eric: Rachel gave me a “Get Better Soon” card

Salim: That’s really nice of her!

Eric: I’m not sick, she just thinks i could do better

So I played among us until four am last night, and instead of... you know... playing the game? I went on several rants about the meaning of happiness and how it ties to the human psyche.

salim is jason’s manic pixie dream boy

Jason: Fuck AND marry Salim, and I’ll kill everyone else.

Nick: Damn it, Jason. That’s not how the game works.