Jason: I Would Die For You

Salim: Have you guys seen Jason?

Rachel: No, haven’t seen him since the storm started

Nick: Since the sto- JASON NO!

Meanwhile, Jason standing in the middle of a thunderstorm with a shovel raised high: STRIKE ME DOWN ZEUS, YOU DON’T HAVE THE BALLS

Jason: Fuck AND marry Salim, and I’ll kill everyone else.

Nick: Damn it, Jason. That’s not how the game works.

Jason: Yeah, don’t worry Salim, we had a great time at the pumpkin patch! isn’t that right Zain?

*a pumpkin strapped in the backseat*

Jason: I’m gonna have to call you back

Jason: You know they kicked Robin Williams out of Juilliard?

Nick: Really? Oh, man, what'd he play?

Jason: GOOGLE SHABOOZEY RIGHT NOW.

Nick: I know who Shaboozey is.

Jason: GO TO GOOGLE.COM AND GOOGLE SHABOOZEY RIGHT NOW.

Salim: Who is Shaboozey?? Okay I'll Google him. OH!!

Jason: I DISCOVERED THIS WHEN I DECIDED TO GOOGLE SHABOOZEY ONCE.

Nick: You tried to join the freemasons???

Eric: No, I just looked into it!

Jason: ow! son of a bi-

Salim pointing to Zain: Jason! children!

Jason: … iscuit. son of a biscuit.

Nick: nice save.

Jason: yeah. fucking nailed it.

Nick: Hey, Jason? Can I get some dating advice?

Jason, sighing: Just because I'm with Salim doesn't mean I know how I did it.

Eric: I don’t like your accusatory tone.

Rachel: Well, I’d use a different tone, but I’m trying to accuse you of something.

Interviewer: what kind of guy do you prefer?

Rachel: my boyfriend.

Interviewer: how about you? what kind of girl do you like?

Eric: Rachel’s boyfriend.