Nick: Hey, Jason? Can I Get Some Dating Advice?

Salim: you all would not have if did not do it first!

Jason: y’all’dn’t’ve’f’i’dn’t’ve

Salim:

Salim: what the hell is wrong with you

Jason after kissing Salim: this is sick as af as fuck if im being tbh

Nick: We need to get through this locked door. Eric, give me your credit card.

Eric: Here.

Nick, pocketing it: Jason, break down the door.

*Rachel has broken up with them*

Eric: Wow.. Rachel really hates us.

Nick: Maybe she's homophobic?

Eric: We're not a couple Nick.

Nick: We're not?

Rachel: You're not?

Jason: Let's play twenty questions

Salim: Sure, what's your favorite color?

Jason: Circle. Are you into guys?

Rachel: Is that a hickey?

Jason: No, It's a mosquito bite.

Salim, walks in: Hello, good morning.

Rachel: Hey, mosquito.

Jason: How do you know how to kiss? like who teaches you?

Salim: Well it’s actually a class, but sadly it’s full at the moment now.

Salim: Would you like private lessons?

Nick: Damn that was smooth.

I’m going with: it’s a reference to the Pink Panthers episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved for the points

i think it’s reasonable to assume that any spacefaring version of humanity would probably end up wearing funny hats as a cultural thing

Rachel: I spy with my little eye something that starts with 's'.

Nick: *looks at Jason and Salim*

Nick: Is it 'sexual tension'?

Eric: Rachel gave me a “Get Better Soon” card

Salim: That’s really nice of her!

Eric: I’m not sick, she just thinks i could do better