Jason After Kissing Salim: This Is Sick As Af As Fuck If Im Being Tbh

Jason: ARE YOU-

Rachel: Fucking.

Jason: KIDDING ME? YOU-

Rachel: Fucking.

Jason: IDIOT!

Nick: What was that?

Rachel: Salim bet Jason couldn't stop swearing for a week, so I’m helping him out.

Nick: We need to get through this locked door. Eric, give me your credit card.

Eric: Here.

Nick, pocketing it: Jason, break down the door.

Jason: You have that glint in your eye that either says 'I'm Mary Poppins' or 'I'm going to dump your body in that chasm river.'

Salim: We'll never know which it is!

Salim: So.

Salim: I'm in love.

Salim: with Jason.

Salim: I'm in love with Jason.

Nick:

Nick: Our Jason?

Salim: Yes?

Salim: . . .thoughts?

Nick: And prayers.

Salim: it’s been a rough 24 hours, we could stand to do something stupid

Jason: I’m something stupid, do me

Nick: Aw, no batteries :(

Eric: Aw, what were you gonna do?

Nick: Shine a really bright flashlight in your eyes...

Nick, about Merwin: He died of natural causes

Jason: ..You pushed him off the roof

Nick: Gravity is natural

Nick: What's your favorite color?

Rachel: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature.

Nick: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP?

Rachel: My favorite color is blue.

Jason: idk bro, i should probably kiss him

Eric:

Nick:

Rachel:

Salim:

Jason: what?

-eric interrogating Salim-

Eric: Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole, truth, and nothing but the truth?

Salim: no

Eric:

eric, into his walkie talkie: what do I do now?

Jason: Are you a painting?

Salim: What-?

Jason: Because I want to pin you to a wall.

All of the confused marines: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG HIM OR SOMETHING-