Jason: Idk Bro, I Should Probably Kiss Him

Jason: ow! son of a bi-

Salim pointing to Zain: Jason! children!

Jason: … iscuit. son of a biscuit.

Nick: nice save.

Jason: yeah. fucking nailed it.

Rachel: I keep telling my boyfriend that he can't love Chappell Roan and be straight, but he does, and he is :/

Eric: I don't know about that,

Rachel: Is Nick gay???

Eric: He was last night...

Rachel: WhY does this hallway smell like dater-pe???

Nick: Merwin uses a really strong cologne.

Jason: Overactive sweat glands, you know how it is.

Merwin: I smell fine!!

Rachel: Shower. Now.

Eric: Rachel gave me a “Get Better Soon” card

Salim: That’s really nice of her!

Eric: I’m not sick, she just thinks i could do better

Jason: Hey, Rachel, have you seen Goncharov?

Rachel: No, what's Goncharov?

Nick: Oh, only my favorite Scorcese movie!

Joey: It's so good, ma'am.

Rachel: Alright, I'll put Goncharov on my list.

Jason: You do that, Rachel.

Rachel: How do you spell it?

Jason: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you.

Jason: Ask me to kill for you.

Salim: ...First of all, calm down-

Nurse: You scored a 25/27 on your mental health questionnaire.

Jason: So that means I'm good at mental health, right?

*Crisis Counselor enters the room*

Jason: Ah, shit.

Zain: i made you a friendship bracelet.

Jason: you know, i'm not really a jewellery person.

Zain: well you don't have to wear it if you don't want t-

Jason: no, i'm gonna wear it forever, back off!

Salim: Are you sure I can't hold the umbrella for you..?

Jason: I'm doing something nice for you because I love you!!!

Salim: Alright, thank you :')

salim's neck has become non-existent after this point RIP this man and his height over his boyfriend 😔

Semper Fi? more like Simper Fi, amirite?