Salim: Are You Sure I Can't Hold The Umbrella For You..?

Jason: ARE YOU-

Rachel: Fucking.

Jason: KIDDING ME? YOU-

Rachel: Fucking.

Jason: IDIOT!

Nick: What was that?

Rachel: Salim bet Jason couldn't stop swearing for a week, so I’m helping him out.

Jason: You're wearing makeup.

Salim: Oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?

Jason: Looks... okay, I guess.

*later*

Jason, sobbing into Nick's shoulder: IT LOOKED SO GOOD!

Nick: I know, Jason.

Jason: I'M SO GAY!

Nick: I know, Jason.

Jason: Hey, Rachel, have you seen Goncharov?

Rachel: No, what's Goncharov?

Nick: Oh, only my favorite Scorcese movie!

Joey: It's so good, ma'am.

Rachel: Alright, I'll put Goncharov on my list.

Jason: You do that, Rachel.

Rachel: How do you spell it?

Salim: Hostage or not, sometimes it's nice being held.

Jason:

Jason: Are you okay.

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE TEACHERS PEOPLE IN THE BACK

“you’re [insert age here] and should already know how to—“ very inappropriate way to start or end any conversation with a disabled person <3

Jason: They should have a great American bake-off.

Salim: What would they bake, machine guns??

Salim: So.

Salim: I'm in love.

Salim: with Jason.

Salim: I'm in love with Jason.

Nick:

Nick: Our Jason?

Salim: Yes?

Salim: . . .thoughts?

Nick: And prayers.

Salim, whose first language isn’t English: Hello! I’m sorry if my English isn’t very good.

Jason, whose first language is English: Hte fuckign.

meanwhile jason is kicking and screaming bloody murder

Nick: I gotcha!

Jason: I WILL KILL YOUR PARENTS I WILL END YOUR BLOODLINE PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW.

Absolute tomfoolery

Salim: it’s been a rough 24 hours, we could stand to do something stupid

Jason: I’m something stupid, do me