Salim: So.

I’m definitely not supposed to be doing maths

Maths work???? On my desk????????? Nooooo

Salim: Crushes are the worst.

Jason: Right. Whenever I'm near someone I have a crush on, I start acting stupid.

Salim: You're always acting stupid.

Jason: Yeah... don't think about that too hard.

Eric: What the fuck is Jason even doing?

Nick: HIS BEST!

Jason: Eric cannot be topped.

Nick: bet

Jason:

Nick:

Nick: oh you meant in rank

Jason: GOOGLE SHABOOZEY RIGHT NOW.

Nick: I know who Shaboozey is.

Jason: GO TO GOOGLE.COM AND GOOGLE SHABOOZEY RIGHT NOW.

Salim: Who is Shaboozey?? Okay I'll Google him. OH!!

Jason: I DISCOVERED THIS WHEN I DECIDED TO GOOGLE SHABOOZEY ONCE.

Jason: Be myself? I have a day to win over Zain. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Nick: Couple weeks.

Rachel: Six months.

Eric: Jury’s still out.

Jason: See? “be yourself”, seriously, Nicky? What kind of garbage advice is that?

Nick: C’mon, Jason. Why do you not like Eric?

Jason:

Jason: Have you ever met a man and it’s so obvious that no one in his life has ever told him to shut the fuck up?

Rachel:

Salim:

Nick, shrugging: Valid.

Semper Fi? more like Simper Fi, amirite? 

Eric, teaching Jason to drive: Okay, you're driving and Salim and I walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit? 

Jason: Oh, definitely you. I could never hurt Salim. 

Eric, massaging his temples: The brakes, Kolchek. You hit the brakes.

Jason: Are you a painting?

Salim: What-?

Jason: Because I want to pin you to a wall.

All of the confused marines: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG HIM OR SOMETHING-