I’m Definitely Not Supposed To Be Doing Maths

Zain: Is 37 a prime number, Jason?

Jason, trying to help with his homework: Fuckin... I'm a marine!!!!

Nick: C’mon, Jason. Why do you not like Eric?

Jason:

Jason: Have you ever met a man and it’s so obvious that no one in his life has ever told him to shut the fuck up?

Rachel:

Salim:

Nick, shrugging: Valid.

Salim, eating a cinnamon roll:

Jason, shaking his head: cannibalism.

Salim: *confused chewing noises*

Rachel: Want to take a stab at being social?

Clarisse: I do like stabbing.

Nick: Hey we should do this insane dangerous thing that would get us all killed!

Jason: My beautiful baby angel child who can do no wrong, you are usually right but in this case I'm going to have to ask you to sit this one out.

Nick: Aw, okay :(

Eric: Or, we could-

Jason: *shoots him dead*

Jason when he disagrees with Nick: I’m sorry buddy, but no.

Jason when he disagrees with Eric:

Salim: Crushes are the worst.

Jason: Right. Whenever I'm near someone I have a crush on, I start acting stupid.

Salim: You're always acting stupid.

Jason: Yeah... don't think about that too hard.

Nurse: You scored a 25/27 on your mental health questionnaire.

Jason: So that means I'm good at mental health, right?

*Crisis Counselor enters the room*

Jason: Ah, shit.

Nick, out of the blue on a random tuesday: Cats and cows love me.

Jason: How do you know this?

Nick: Vermont.

Jason: Elaborate?

Nick: No.

Jason: I would die for you

Salim: I would die for you too

Jason, suddenly very emotional: Please don’t

Nick: Please tell me you didn’t kidnap him, Jason?

Jason, carrying Zain: I didn’t kidnap him

Nick: Oh thank god

Jason: I adopted him