Jason: You Know They Kicked Robin Williams Out Of Juilliard?

(Zain slinking in after a night out)

Salim: What did you have?

Zain: Two glasses of lemonade and, like, five mints... :(

Salim: Go to bed.

Zain: Yes sir.

Nick: Why are you so mad at me? Is it because I slept with Eric?

Rachel: YOU WHAT?!

Nick: Fuck, it wasn't that.

the funny thing about this is that Jason is actually a war criminal

Salim: can't believe i'm the first ever bisexual war criminal ❤ love wins

Salim: you often use humor to deflect trauma

Jason: thank you!

Salim: that is not a good thing.

Jason: what i’m hearing is you think i’m funny

Jason: They should have a great American bake-off.

Salim: What would they bake, machine guns??

Nick in the caves: I have to admit, I am not living la vida loca

Zain with Tariq in town: I did that adult thing you can do where you buy an entire cake and just eat it.

Zain: I am eating an entire cake.

Zain: Update: there is more cake than I imagined.

Zain: I see now why my dad didn’t let me do this.

Salim: I'm going to take a shower, you want to join me?

Jason: I keep a gun in the drawer under my bunk. If I ever say no to that question I want you to shoot me with it

Nick: Jason, Are you free this Friday at 8:00 pm?

Jason: I guess, yeah.

Nick: And what about you, Salim?

Salim: Yes, I am.

Nick, clapping his hands together and smiling: Great! Because I’m not. You two have fun on your date!

Jason: Wait-

Salim: Did he just-?

Salim: Crushes are the worst.

Jason: Right. Whenever I'm near someone I have a crush on, I start acting stupid.

Salim: You're always acting stupid.

Jason: Yeah... don't think about that too hard.