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Thomas: Where do you want to be in five years, Alastair?
Alastair: *under his breath* Hopefully in your bed
Thomas: What was that?
Alastair: I sAid HoPEFULLY DEAD!
Will: I don’t think we thought this through very well…
Jem: I could’ve told you that ten fuck-ups ago.
Gabriel: Has anyone seen my wife?
Stranger: What does she look like?
Gabriel: Well, she has black ha-
Cecily, from a tree: BEAUTIFUL
Officer: I heard you got pot
Matthew: *holds up flower pot* You mean this?
Officer: Oh, ok. What you growing?
Matthew: Weed
Raziel: Did you give Johnny Rook the bison as I told?
Angel: Wait, what?
Raziel: The bison, so that he can shoot it and get his anger issues out...?
Angel: The bi son...
Raziel: The bison...
Angel: Bi son
Raziel: B i s o n
Angel: B i - S o n
Jem: Netflix lied to me
Jem: I’ve never seen bad boy types protecting stray kittens revealing to me their soft side
Jem: It’s always me picking up the kittens.
Jem:
Jem:
Jem: Maybe I’m the bad boy
[TLH Group Chat]
Lucie: Hey guys, if you post your password in the groupchat it’ll block out!
Lucie: *******
Lucie: See?
Cordelia: That’s so cool!
Cordelia: *****
Matthew: heronchild4ever69
Matthew:
[Matthew has left the chat]
Charlotte: Let’s spice things up
Henry: But I’m allergic to chilli
Charlotte: I meant in the bedroom
Henry: It doesn’t matter in what room we eat, Lottie, I’m still allergic to chilli
Kit: I know you’re a hero in the Shadow World, but what about the mundane side?
Jace: No, I’m wanted in six states for arson
Kit:
Jace: and homicide