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Fairchild - Blog Posts
Charles: Whenever I’m mad at Matthew I tighten the lids on all of our jars so that he has to ask me for help…
*sound of glass shattering, screaming from distance*
Charles: It hasn’t worked yet…
Clave member: Now we’re going to run a few tests. This is a simple lie detector. I’ll ask you a few questions and you just answer truthfully. Do you understand?
Charles: Yes
*lie detector explodes*
Charlotte: Let’s spice things up
Henry: But I’m allergic to chilli
Charlotte: I meant in the bedroom
Henry: It doesn’t matter in what room we eat, Lottie, I’m still allergic to chilli
Matthew: WELCOME TO FUCKING APPLEBEE’S, DO YOU WANT APPLES OR BEES?
Alastair: … Bees?
Matthew: HE HAS SELECTED THE BEES!
Alastair: Wait...
James, approaches them as he shakes a jar of bees: 😊
Alastair: wAit-
Matthew: So the police showed up and everybody ran, so I did, too.
Matthew: And I started climbing down this fire escape.
Matthew: And then I heard a cop yell to put your hands up,
Matthew: so I did and I fell... onto him.
James: A-C-D-F-B-G-
Lucie: What are you saying?
James: I’m singing the alphabet
Lucie: That’s not the alphabet-
Matthew from upstairs: YASSS GIRL REMIX
The Merry Thieves: [searching the beach]
James: Sorry guys, looks like there’s no sand dollars left
Christopher: Can’t the ocean just make more of them?
Matthew: And cause inflation? Destroy the sand economy? By the angel, Christopher, use your head.
I am very proud to announce that I am officially a lost cause. Thank you all for your continued support. Unfortunately, it was all for nothing.
- Matthew Fairchild, probably
Matthew: MOVE!
Charles: You have room!
Matthew: No, move out. You're like forty!
Charles: ...
Matthew: *looks over at James* Poke
James: *without looking up from his book* Poke
Matthew: Poke *pokes James on his cheek*
James: Poke *pokes Matthew on the arm*
Matthew: Poke!
James: Poke!
Matthew: POKE
James: POKE
*a poke war ensues that somehow ends up on the floor with Christopher on top thinking it was a hug party*
Thomas:
Thomas: WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING RIGHT NOW???