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STARCOURT MALL PICS WITH JANE MAX WILL AND MIKE I SMELL DUSTIN AND LUCAS SCENE AND CAN BE INTERPRETED AS GAY ASS DOUBLE DATE SCENE

Pageant Girl 10 Commandments

1. The bigger the hair the closer to God.

2. Thou shall always use “butt spray.” (No matter how cute it is the judges don’t want to see that)

3. Thou shall always make sure thy false eyelashes are attached properly.

4. Thou shall always honor thy choreographer and coaches

5. Thou shall not be “plastic”

6. Thou shall not covet the title thy neighbor holds

7. Thy hair shall not move

8. Thou shall not be afraid of the judges. (No matter how intimidating they are)

9. Thou shall have fun!

And the last and most important commandment: 10. BE YOURSELF!!!!!

Worst competition experience

My first year of marching, we didn’t have great costumes for color guard, so my mom altered them to the best of her ability. It wasn’t great, but she had very little to work with. Anywho, we were at a competition and getting off of the bus, and it started raining IMMEDIATELY. So my guard friends and I huddled together for warmth. It continued to rain for the entire show. By the time we were ready to take pictures, all of color guard looked like we had just lost out dogs and were crying hysterically about it. It was an absolute mess. Long story short: nothing ever goes according to plan, but I love band.

“You just gotta YEET that thing into the sky okay?’

-The guard section leader teaching a freshman how to do a 45

Just Band Things

The captain of your section running into the practice room you’re in, screaming at you to shut the door and then pulling a pack of thin mints out of the ceiling

There is no sound more satisfying than that of a rifle snap and the feeling of a strong catch

Band director: I love all of the marching sections equally! Trumpets, drum line, saxophones, *looks at smudged writing on hand* colr gud.

Story time #2

Junior, Guard

Once at a football game we were playing this school that had fans that were super disrespectful to our band and one of them shouted “our green is better than yours!”, which was probably supposed to be something really rude, but all I could think about after that was that our schools literally had the same color green.

spinning in the wind got me like

Straight From the Field #10

“Guys, seriously, stop practicing and go get water. This is the only time you’ll hear me say this, take advantage of it.”

Band Kid Confessions #2

Junior, Guard

For indoor season we had a sad show, and a lot of the girls were having trouble performing, but I’m really good at it so they asked me how I always looked so sad and tearful when I performed, and I told them that I was in theatre so I’m good at expressing emotion. But it’s really just my face because I’m always scared when I do work.

Band Kid Confessions #3

Sophomore, Percussionist

Once I slammed the door to a practice room just to see how loud it would be and the handle on the inside fell off the door. It was me and a couple other percussionists and guard people trapped in there for about the next fifteen minutes until a private lesson teacher found us and let us out.

Bad Marching Advice #12

Now that we’re heading into band camp, don’t even bother with sunscreen! You can get that sick tan you always wanted! Sure you might be a little red around the edges, but it’ll be worth it won’t it?

Band Kid Confessions #9

Junior, Guard

During a parade we got backed up for a few minutes so we were standing still for a while, and there was this kid standing right next to me and trying to catcall me while I was spinning my flag. I got fed up almost immediately, so I started sticking my flag out a little farther and knocked his hat off his head, and he and his jerk friends backed off real quick. I guess that’s an advantage of having a 6 foot metal pole in your hands almost all the time.

Bad Marching Advice #9

Don’t worry about watching the drum major(s), they’re just there to wave their arms and look serious. As long as you know the show music well enough, nothing can go wrong!

Straight From the Field #4

“Dude you’re so sweaty right now.”

“Well, you know, it’s only a nice cool million degrees out here, it’s not like I’m BURNING ALIVE or anything-“

Just Band Things

Going to every football game but never knowing anything about the actual game or rules except what to do when your home team scores

Bad Marching Advice #8

EVERYONE CAN BE A GUARD MEMBER!

Just because they’re the ones with actual flags doesn’t make them special, anyone can toss a piece of metal. In fact, try it at your next rehearsal! The directors will be so impressed they’ll forget to get mad!

Bonus points if it’s not your instrument!

(Looking at all you woodwinds out there)

Straight From the Field #2

“How did I get here?”

“My mom drove us here. I was there.”

“No, I mean how did I get HERE. In life. Why am I still doing this to myself?”

Guard Member: *drops rifle*

Guard Member: Screw it! *chucks rifle halfway across the football field*

Director:

Director: Ok but why can’t you throw it that hard when you’re supposed to?

Straight From the Field #8

“yEET”

“STOP YEETING YOUR TRUMPET, CONNOR!”

Bad Marching Advice #4

Never let old shows die!!1!!!111!!

It is your responsibility as an upperclassman to make obscure references to past shows that freshmen will never understand! No matter what the situation is, it’s never an inappropriate time to sing the opener to your show from freshman year! In fact, it’s better to sing a part that you didn’t play! Color guard, now is your time to shine!

Me: man this next drill move looks really hard, I hope I don’t hit anyone!

Freshman trombone: *3 steps ahead of his line, about to run into me* oh how the turns have tabled

What’s done, is done

“Bold of you to assume I can catch things.”

color guard captain

Straight From the Field #3

“99% of the time, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Alex…you’re the section leader.”

“Yeah, I’m confused about that too.”

deletus that fetus

Some good quotes I’ve heard from the band this season

“Hydrate or diedrate.”

“What on God’s good earth did they teach you over at drum corps???”

“Ok, if I say ‘cool?’ I want you guys to say ranch, cool?”

“Nevermind,I guess you guys are lame.”

“I was gonna roll down my window and yell 'NERD’ but I chickened out and just drove up on the grass.”

“What an absolute goddamn unit.”

“Ok, can someone that’s NOT a senior please raise their hand”

“Literally everyone here is a breathing meme and it’s kinda scary.”

“I think I have some ligma in my part.”

“SAY LIGMA ONE MORE TIME SEE WHAT HAPPENS”

Add on if you want

2017 colorguard mood: “Don’t spin like a little bitch.”