Pageant Girl 10 Commandments

Bad Marching Advice #8

EVERYONE CAN BE A GUARD MEMBER!

Just because they’re the ones with actual flags doesn’t make them special, anyone can toss a piece of metal. In fact, try it at your next rehearsal! The directors will be so impressed they’ll forget to get mad!

Bonus points if it’s not your instrument!

(Looking at all you woodwinds out there)

please talk about what jane and max would be up to in those outfits

dyking it up! they are absolutely the tacky lesbians whose clothes are all thrifted and mismatched and three sizes off. they love the mall, because they get to people watch and get inspired for their next look. just window shopping there, mostly, unless a clearance item can be shoved in el’s baggy camo pants or max’s culotte pockets. they eat sundaes at ahoy’s, envious of steve’s hawaiian shirt, and sit outside the building bouncing rocks against the wall or doing skate tricks. and you know mi armario es tu armario, so they mix and swap each other’s pieces all the time

BTS as Dad Tweets

Namjoon: One thing I definitely underestimated when I first became a father was the great amount of joy embarrassing my kids would bring me.

Seokjin: I constantly google “how to put your kids up for adoption” so my kids can find it on my search history and know that I’m not messing around.

Yoongi: [in car drop off line at school]

Dad, this isn’t even our school. “Look kids…Daddy’s hungover. Just go in there & learn something, ok?”

Hoseok: Parents say a lot of things over and over. For example, I just said “Please don’t pull Daddy’s pants down in public.” for the 500th time

Jimin: I hope I never hit that dad phase where I think it’s a good idea to buy a minivan.

Taehyung: My son can now reach the light switches so don’t come over to our house unless you’re really into raves or want to have a seizure

Jungkook:

Child: What’s neglect mean?

Me: Shhh daddy’s playing video games

Taehyung - Singularity moodboard 👅

eddie but with body dysmorphia

-so eddie has always been small

-compact, if you will

-and he secretly liked being small, being able to fit in people’s (richie’s) arms so well, finding the tiniest of spots to hide during hide and seek

-but one day while after he got to high school, sometime after he hit puberty, something changed in him

-he got taller and thicker and he wasn’t enjoying it

-he started to feel like he was taking up too much space

-he kept these thoughts to himself, as he does with most everything

-but they all notice eventually

-he won’t sit on bill’s shoulders to play chicken anymore

-won’t let stan give him piggyback rides

-before he started seeing himself this way he used to borrow bev’s sweaters all the time but now he refuses because he’s convinced he’ll stretch them out

-he won’t ride on the back of mike’s bike when they travel around town

-and richie especially notices when eddie won’t let him wrap his arms around his waist anymore

-at first richie thought eddie was slowly distancing himself

-trying to slip away

-he was so hurt when eddie refused to cuddle or change in front of him

-he goes to bev, who is obviously one of his best friends,

-“i just feel like he doesn’t love me anymore you know? he won’t let me touch him like ever”

-“richie, can’t you see it? it’s not you, it’s him. he feels bad about himself, he’s got body dysmorphia”

-and of course she then had to explain what that term actually means

-but then it all comes together in the old trashmouth’s head

-“you’re a godsend, marsh. what would i do without you?”

-“crash and burn”

-so he goes to eddie, not knowing if he should confront him straight up or wait til eddie says something himself

-but that’s obviously never gonna happen so plan b

-they’re chilling in richie’s room, doing homework

-richie puts his math book down and starts kissing eddie’s neck

-“rich, stop, i’ve got work to do”

-then he starts playing with eddie’s hair

-“richie you’re distracting me”

-“you’re so beautiful, eds. i love you so much”

-“shut up, trashmouth. don’t call me that”

-richie starts slowly moving his hands around eddie’s shoulders and then slipping them under his sweater

-“i mean it, babe. you’re just so beautiful, i can’t believe i wasted all that time being your friend when i could’ve been-“

-“beep fucking beep richie! i don’t want to play right now”

-“why won’t you let me touch you, eddie?”

-and eddie has to pinch the bridge of his nose

-“i have work to do”

-“i don’t mean just now. i mean ever. we don’t hug, or cuddle or make out, we haven’t been together in weeks”

-“that’s what you’re fucking worried about? that i’m not having sex with you?”

-“no you stupid idiot i’m worried that you’re gonna start hurting yourself because you think you’re fat”

-“what are you even talking about”

-“i’m not stupid, eddie. you’re wearing baggy clothes, you only eat green shit, you won’t let me see you without a shirt on….for some reason you hate yourself and that’s fucking ridiculous because you’re probably the most attractive person i’ve ever met in my life”

-eddie doesn’t know what to say because he never thought richie would figure it out

-“i love you, eddie. you. the way you are. i love your floppy hair and your sparkly eyes, i love how you can be kinda squishy in the middle, i love your arms and your legs….dear god eddie your ass is literally out of this world”

-and eddie laughs through his tears

-“i don’t want you to change, i don’t want you to start to disappear”

-eddie takes richie’s dorky face into his little hands and kisses the tip of his nose

-“i’m not gonna go anywhere. i love you, trashmouth”

-“i love you too eddie spaghetti”

cool i’m in pain

I’m literally the neediest piece of shit you’ll ever meet

Me: man this next drill move looks really hard, I hope I don’t hit anyone!

Freshman trombone: *3 steps ahead of his line, about to run into me* oh how the turns have tabled

Band Kid Confessions #9

Junior, Guard

During a parade we got backed up for a few minutes so we were standing still for a while, and there was this kid standing right next to me and trying to catcall me while I was spinning my flag. I got fed up almost immediately, so I started sticking my flag out a little farther and knocked his hat off his head, and he and his jerk friends backed off real quick. I guess that’s an advantage of having a 6 foot metal pole in your hands almost all the time.

Straight From the Field #10

“Guys, seriously, stop practicing and go get water. This is the only time you’ll hear me say this, take advantage of it.”