Latest Posts by littlecigs - Page 4

Sometimes I miss people that weren't really good to me.

I hope one day I can publish my poetry. I just wish the art industry weren't so reliant on social media. I don't want to have to be an influencer in order to get my work out there. I just want to create, and share those creations

I feel like people don't talk enough about how utterly mentally exhausting it is to be genuinely obsessive about somebody

like yes it is nice to have somebody I love so much be a constant thought in my head but it makes actually trying to do real life things so difficult because I'm so caught up in the obsession and the daydreaming

there's something wrong with me

i'm not a good person

there's something wrong with me that i don't understand

Having bpd really is like playing life on the hardest difficulty it has to offer. When you're upset, it's like grief. When you're mad, it's like fighting back the rage of a warrior. When you're numb, it's absolutely debilitatingly so, and when you're dissociated, it's like nothing on this planet, including yourself, exists or is even real anymore. It's a constant battle of fighting against your own body's extremely out of control instincts. It's not supposed to be this hard to simply interact with other human beings and yourself, is it?

i'm damaged as fuck but i'll never hurt anyone the same way i've been hurt

We’re All Going to the World’s Fair (Jane Schoenbrun, 2021)

I think I'll always need other people more than they need me. I'm so helpless

BPD culture is I'd rather die than even feel abandoned.

it's like i am literally never going to own a house or find authentic love or escape the clutches of late stage capitalism so really what am i living for

All I need is for someone to gently cup my face and tell me I'm not as doomed as I feel.

sometimes i feel like all i am is a disorder

i love when i warn people over and over and over again that i have "ugly" symptoms of my mental disorders and that i won't always be easy to deal with and they assure me it's okay and it can't be that bad and say all these nice things then fuck off and leave when things start to get tough. cute.

google search how to cough up the ball of grief that's been stuck in your stomach since birth

"But why do you let your disability stop you?" Because that's.... what disabilities... do. That's... literally the basic definition... of being disabled... A disability impairs your ability to function. That's what the term means. That's the main thing