Nick: Are You Gonna Go Talk To Eric?

Jason: Salim is the kind of person that makes everyone think about them all the time, even when you’re asleep, right?

Rachel: I don’t think of Salim all the time

Eric: I don’t dream about Lieutenant Othman

Nick: When you say everyone, do you mean yourself?

When reading fanfic keep in mind that for professional literature: 

Short story: under 7,500

Novelette: between 7,500 and 17,500

Novella: between 17,500 and 40,000

Novel: over 40,000

Fics over 40k are literally a novel written and shared for free.  If you have written a 40k+ fic, you have literally written a novel.

Salim: Are you sure I can't hold the umbrella for you..?

Jason: I'm doing something nice for you because I love you!!!

Salim: Alright, thank you :')

salim's neck has become non-existent after this point RIP this man and his height over his boyfriend 😔

Salim: you all would not have if did not do it first!

Jason: y’all’dn’t’ve’f’i’dn’t’ve

Salim:

Salim: what the hell is wrong with you

Salim: [takes a deep breath] Today is gonna be a good day

Salim: [deep breath] There’s going to be no bullshit

Salim: [opens the door to see Jason standing there]

Jason: My shoes are on the roof again

Salim: [closes the door]

Salim: it’s been a rough 24 hours, we could stand to do something stupid

Jason: I’m something stupid, do me

Rachel: We don't need to know about your asphyxiation kink.

Merwin: My tinctures?

Rachel: No, I said we don't need to know about your asphyxiation kink.

Merwin: Oh, I thought you said tinctures.

Rachel: Why the FUCK would I say tinctures???

Salim: no i’m not tired of being nice, yes i still just wanna go apeshit, these things can coexist, stop asking me

Eric: You fight like my ex-wife!

Nick: I'm dating your ex-wife. That's a compliment.

Dude, it’s like Rick went through everyone’s solangelo headcannons and went “uhhhh... yeah, I can do that”