Salim: No I’m Not Tired Of Being Nice, Yes I Still Just Wanna Go Apeshit, These Things Can Coexist,

Jason, depressed, lying on the floor: I just feel like a noodle

Salim joining him on the floor and hugging him: Good, I like pasta

Jason: StOp crossing the road like that, do you have no anxiety??

Salim: Oh, I have anxiety, but my anxiety is more like I'm confident the cars won't hit me but I'm worried the drivers don't like me.

Dude, it’s like Rick went through everyone’s solangelo headcannons and went “uhhhh... yeah, I can do that”

Zain: Is 37 a prime number, Jason?

Jason, trying to help with his homework: Fuckin... I'm a marine!!!!

Interviewer: what kind of guy do you prefer?

Rachel: my boyfriend.

Interviewer: how about you? what kind of girl do you like?

Eric: Rachel’s boyfriend.

Zain: can I have a cookie?

Jason: what did Salim say?

Zain: he said no

Jason: so why would I say yes?

Zain: because he’s not the boss of you

Jason, already taking out the cookie jar: you can have two

Nick: We need to get through this locked door. Eric, give me your credit card.

Eric: Here.

Nick, pocketing it: Jason, break down the door.

Zain: *watching TV*

Jason: Ah, you're watching Sailor Moon? I love that anime. The way they just–

Jason: *clenches fist*

Jason: Sail all those fricking moons.

dragon age inquisition is the only story i’ve seen that’s bold enough to ask - what if we attempt the found family trope, but half of your found family are so catholic they’re in line to be the pope and also you start out as pretty much a hostage

Jason, hatching a plot: Let's do it.

Joey: I'm in.

Nick: guys, isn't that against the rules? What if we get caught?

Jason: Nick Kay, I cannot wait for you to lose your virginity.