Jason: Due To Personal Reasons, I Will Be Fucking Sinking To The Bottom Of The Ocean In A Large Metal

Jason: ow! son of a bi-

Salim pointing to Zain: Jason! children!

Jason: … iscuit. son of a biscuit.

Nick: nice save.

Jason: yeah. fucking nailed it.

Nick: You tried to join the freemasons???

Eric: No, I just looked into it!

Salim: I raised a man with a softer heart than the world deserves.

Salim, raising his stake: fortunately for him, my mother cannot say the same

there’s a guy listening to that song that goes “if you gave me a chance I would take it” on full blast during a test and I-

don’t worry, he’s using headphones

Nick: Are you gonna go talk to Eric?

Rachel: If he really wants to talk to me, he can come to my room. On his hands and knees.

*Rachel has broken up with them*

Eric: Wow.. Rachel really hates us.

Nick: Maybe she's homophobic?

Eric: We're not a couple Nick.

Nick: We're not?

Rachel: You're not?

Salim: you often use humor to deflect trauma

Jason: thank you!

Salim: that is not a good thing.

Jason: what i’m hearing is you think i’m funny

Nurse: You scored a 25/27 on your mental health questionnaire.

Jason: So that means I'm good at mental health, right?

*Crisis Counselor enters the room*

Jason: Ah, shit.

the funny thing about this is that Jason is actually a war criminal

Salim: can't believe i'm the first ever bisexual war criminal ❤ love wins