Goddessmba - Treat Myself Like A Goddess

Psychology Daily - Quote

“A year ago, I would never have pictured the way my life is now.”

—

Today I choose to be a Goddess.

April 26

Today I feel okay. It was a good day at the therapist, I came home and napped and talked to Devin on the phone a few times and made some rice to eat, but I didn’t get done the things I wanted to get done. I think I’m just hitting a really pessimistic patch. I did send a few emails to some USAA people, asking for their time to chat about HR at USAA, and a call I had with a current USAA employee from the day before turned out pretty well (he forwarded my resume along, which was much appreciated), so I guess I’m making moves in the right direction.

But just okay. Not fantastic, not as desolate as I’ve felt earlier this week, just okay. 😊

“She doesn’t want to hear that she is flawless. She wants to hear that she is loved regardless of her flaws.”

—

March 21

Dangit, I typed something last night and then didn’t hit either save or post and Tumblr doesn’t default to saving posts as drafts so I lost it. Grrrr. I’ll try to remember what exactly I said.

Today I have a mixed bag of feelings. I feel rescued- I messaged Andrew about a $880 bill I received from a former therapist because apparently the insurance information wasn’t filed correctly, and he told me to send the bill to him and he would write a letter to the therapist and tell them to shove it. I feel frustrated- I’m still not having success with the job search, and it’s wearing on my self esteem. I thought I would have a lot of value to provide to a company, I thought I’d be a high commodity applicant since I have so much work experience and work experience that isn’t finance, but I haven’t been called in for an interview at all. I feel excited about classes- I’m taking two communications classes with the same Professor, which isn’t ideal but it means I have all of my classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays (aside from my Gender Equality seminar on Wednesdays) and she seems REALLY engaged. I think she really cares.

I feel uncertain about Devin. We messaged some more last night, the post I wrote about all of him belonging to me really moved him. I know he’s starting to understand that things are changing for him, that the happy times he thought he would have for forever by staying in Virginia are going to be different from what he’s remembered or experienced in the past. I don’t know. I’m the only person he’s ever dumped. He’s been willing to put up with all kinds of bullshit and he chose to leave THIS relationship, when I have tried really hard to be good to the both of us.

I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind… It was a good movie to watch, thinking about Devin and I. I might want to watch it again in a few days. Just lots of insight and it helped with self-reflection.