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The Vast - Blog Posts
Whilst airplanes are the vast airports are undeniably the spiral
The Entirety of Tumblr from Tumblr has been Chucked in to the ocean! You're all wet now.
*Crawls in your bed*
*Creeps up behind you*
*Whispers in your ear*
The Magnus Archives is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
*Crawls in your bed*
*Creeps up behind you*
*Whispers in your ear*
The Magnus Archives is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
THIS IS SO COOL HDJSKSLQKFVRKAK
The Fears
Pixel art for The Magnus Archives :｡･:*:･ﾟ’★ please don’t repost or edit ｡･:*:･ﾟ’★ Available on redbubble and as cross stitch patterns on kofi!!
lil simon portrait because i needed...a profile picture?
The Vastard themself (this is old ;-; imma give myself a new look soon)
Mini statement all credit to writing and the first two images belongs to @ceaseless-rambler i don’t own the last image either that belongs to rusty quill
(if you feel uncomfortable about me using your writing or photos, I can take down the post)
Mike crew and Simon fairchild meet once on an airplane and it goes like this
Mike: *throws someone off the plane so that they are falling for all eternity*
Simon: hey I was gonna do that. Who are u?
Mike: I'm Mike, I work for the vast. Who are u?
Simon: I'm simon and I work for the vast
Mike: wait if I work for the vast and u work for the vast, then who's flying this plane?
Simon and Mike both laugh hysterically as the plane begins to experience severe turbulence. The passengers all scream.
Mike Crew: No more than 5′ tall.
Simon Fairchild: “Tiny, pink skeleton of a man.”
So what I’m saying is all Vast avatars are tiny and are compensating by having their huge endless patron.
As a would-be avatar of the Vast I feel this in a spiritual way.
ever think about how vast avatars are just like. really short. just so fucking small in every way. imagine walking into a fairchild family gathering and absolutely everyone’s 5′0 or under. these seriously tinyass people just love flying through the air because they like to feel tall. like weenie dogs on the kitchen counter of the universe. they take the “how’s the weather up there” joke and just make it into a threat. they look at somebody who clears 6′ ft and feel the need to fling them into an unforgiving void because tall people don’t have the chops to get out of it. do you want to know what the weather is like up here. fuck with me and find out.
The Vast: Hey, wouldn't it be great if we collaborated and built a space station to send humans to and see how much we can fuck with them?
The Dark: Lmao, that's fucking hilarious, let's do it.
The Lonely, pointing at Carter Chilcott: I'm calling dibs on that one
Pros and cons and dating the avatars of each entity
The Vast
Pros: Literally the best romantic dates ever. Picnicking in the middle of wide-open skies, or giant lakes that stretch on and on forever.
Cons: Kissing at terminal velocity is not as fun as it's cracked up to be.
The Corruption
Pros: Loves you with an intensity. Very clingy. Very touchy-feely.
Cons: You will live in a literal rat's nest.
The Eye
Pros: Knows all your likes and dislikes, knows exactly what you're feeling and what to say and do to make you happy.
Cons: For some reason soon after you start dating them all your computer privacy settings stop working.
The Spiral
Pros: Knife hands! Doors! Corridors! Slowly losing and questioning your sanity the more you spend time with them! Being unsure if they even exist! Fractals! Patterns! What's not to like??
Cons: None!
The Buried
Pros: The blanket forts...... all the blanket forts.......
Cons: Loves the dirt more than they love you.
The Desolation
Pros: Hot.
Cons: Hot.
The Stranger
Pros: They buy so many skin products that your skin will be almost unnaturally smooth after dating them for a few months. Dances with them are great.
Cons: The number of mannequins in the house is starting to get disturbing.
The Dark
Pros: They snap their fingers and the lights instantly go off. Candlelit romance anytime, anywhere.
Cons: There are only so many conversations you can have about the "beauty of the dark sun" until dinner talk grows stale. Will definitely try to convert you to their creepy cult.
The End
Pros: Pulls off the goth aesthetic extremely well, if you're into that.
Cons: Constantly reminds you that you're either going to break up, get married or die, and muses aloud their speculations about which one it'll be. Also, the only album they ever listen to is MCR's Black Parade.
The Flesh
Pros: Very interesting good in bed.
Cons: You will constantly find yourself sighing, "Jason, tell me the truth. Did you cook human meat for dinner AGAIN?!"
The Hunt
Pros: Extremely passionate kisses. Almost ravenous, you could say.
Cons: furry :/
The Slaughter
Pros: cute when they angy!
Cons: You tried to make a "you're not you when you're hungry" joke once and they nearly stabbed your eye out.
The Web
Pros: I mean who doesn't love extra eyes and legs?
Cons: "vriska did nothing wrong"
The Lonely
Pros: Will give you space whenever you need it. Maybe more enthusiastically than you'd want.
Cons: Wants to see you so little you're not even sure whether you're in a relationship anymore. You talk to them once every three weeks. Embarrasses you at the annual Institute party.