You Are Not A Bad Person For Having Used Escapism As A Coping Mechanism When You Were Younger. You Are

Would anyone be interested in joining a pr04n4 discord server?

I’ve been thinking about making one for agessss but I’m not sure if people would join and be active

Reblog if ur interested!

Things I'm good at :

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• feeling like a burden and bed rotting

wat

holy shit guys, it feels weird to say this but I’m 18 now. I don’t feel like an 18 year old yet when does it hit lol

Update: of course I post this a week after my birthday, life doesn’t give me time to process on my actual birthday lol

i feel so left out. like everyone around me knows how to be a human and i don’t.

hi

I’ve learned 2 things tonight. That I shouldn’t combine four of the things that I combined today, and that I regret my decisions- Sorry make that theee things-

Firstly, I hate the taste of The devils lettuces.

Secondly, under no circumstances do not mix the green leaf, nick, an empty stomach, and no sleep together. It does not ent well at all. Trust me lol.

Thirdly, have you ever done so much of something that when you look back at yourself you don’t even recognize who you used to be? I’m thinking back to how I was not even two years ago, and I now don’t know anything about me. But I’m too far in now so I can’t stop. And I know that most of the people in my friend group think of me as the dummy drug addict, but that’s not what I wanna be. I never wanted to end up like this, and I’m genuinely disappointed at myself. Sorry if this doesn’t really make sense, I am incredibly not well rn, in more ways than one lol. Anyway, I truly hate what I’ve become, and like I know what you’re thinking, ‘ just stop doing them if you don’t like it’. But like it’s really hard to stop and now it’s like the people around me just expect that that’s all I do, they assume that if I’m a little off at school then I’m high. ‘Oh they were quiet today- they’re high’ oh you didn’t answer my text earlier- did you get high?’ Like no aly I didn’t do that, i forgot my adhd meds than got so depressed that I was genuinely contemplating and planning out my suicide bitch. I told someone that I care a lot about that I would try to sleep again, but I’m honestly scared that I wouldn’t wake up because I’m pretty sure that I may have almost over done it but idk, ignore that lol. We’ll find out in the morning if I’m alive lol, if I don’t make an update then y’all know why.

“Mouthful of Forevers”, Clementine von Radics

the ultimate winter experience

For those who self h@rm by cvtting, here’s some tips for taking care of yourself from someone whos being doing it for 10+ years

•It’s okay, don’t think any less of yourself for relapsing. It happens and its okay. No one ever tells you that its okay.

•Invest in a person first aid kit, I’m a first responder so I’ve always been stocked up. You should make sure your kit has the following:

• sterile cleansing wipes (you can never have enough of these)

•Conforming bandages (you’ll need this for bigger cuts to help keep the gauze secure

•Microporous Tape

•Different size wound dressings

•Plasters of all different sizes (fabric ones work best I find)

•Kitchen roll (I know that sounds strange but it helps to stop the bleeding, where as tissue just falls to bits)

•Some wound closure stitches (butterfly stitches)

•Wash your hands properly before you cvt, it will help keep you safe okay

•Whatever your going to cvt with make sure you give it a good clean with a sterile wipe, I got some nasty infections from not doing this when I was young.

•After you have had your ‘session’ (at least that’s what I call mine) make sure that you treat your wound properly:

•Hold the kitchen roll to your wound until it stops bleeding.

•Clean the area with the sterile wipes thoroughly

•If it is small enough for a plaster then out that on there

•If not use the wound dressings, measure up to the wound ensuring that there is a good finger width between the edge of the cut and the end of the dressing

•Use the tape to secure it into place

•Hold one end of the bandage away from the wound before you start wrapping it (so you have something to tie it off with)

•Don’t wrap it too tight or it will be uncomfortable and you’ll want to take it off

•Change the bandage or plaster every day at least once (I know that it’s hard but if you don’t it might cause an infection)

•If you cvt too deep, it happens it’s okay I’ve been there, push firmly against the wound with a tea towel or any fabric you can get. If the blud is pouring out I’m going to need you to hold it against you wound as hard as you can and then a little harder. Call you Emergencey service number (999, 911 etc) they will talk you though what you have to do and get you help.

•Dispose of any blades you use, don’t use them twice it WILL cause an infection that can get into your blood. I bought pencil sharpeners on Amazon for very cheap. One use only okay? You don’t want to get sick over it.

•If you want to help your scars become less visible use Bio Oil I think that it works the best and really helped me with the ones on my arms.

•There are things that can help you with your urges or relapses.

•Some helpful apps that I would recommend are:

•StayAlive (I have had this on my phone for many years now and it has saved my life

It has saved my life on many occasions and if you find that you are in need of die help, you can show it to the emergency services and they will help you okay. We are trained in this.

•Harm less (It gives you motivational things whenever you open it, it’s 100% customisable and it can help you keep track of your relapses)

•Its okay to relapse, I’ve been though it many times, I recently just relapsed acted a 250+ day gap. Its okay and no one says it enough. You haven’t let anyone down, no one is disappointed in you, your okay.

Just some tips I’ve learnt over time, it’s going to be okay

Tw

does anyone else ever feel too numb so they purposely trigger themselves to feel something? I know it’s not healthy but it’s one of the only ways that I feel anything right now.

I thought I’d be dead by now