Bro, How The Heck Did This Even Happen-

The tea was so hot in this story that I evaporated into thin air-

(But in Childe’s, did she fake loving him so Scara could be lured in for punishment?? At the end, she was thinking about how she was happy stuff hadn’t been exchanged yet. A little bit confused, but, 100,000,000/10 on the drama scale!)

or forever hold your peace.

summary: they object your wedding.

includes: kaeya and scaramouche.

warnings: gender neutral reader but you do walk down the aisle in kaeya's part, acts of violence in scaramouche's part, angst, slight childe slander towards the end of scaramouche's part.

notes: i wanted to write about this idea, forgot about it, and suddenly remembered it tonight. cue the next two to three hours spent writing.

kaeya.

kaeya found you before you could even walk down the aisle, just as you thought he would. although he would never admit it, you suspected he was too shy to oppose your matrimony in front of all your guests in the favonius cathedral. that, and it would be too much of a scandal, the cavalry captain objecting your marriage to diluc, an ex-knight.

so when you turned the corner and saw kaeya leaning against the wall, eye closed as if in deep thought, you were only slightly unprepared.

you paused and took a deep breath, steadying yourself, before moving again, determined to ignore him. kaeya knew you were there, he must have, yet he let you march past him without a word. it was only when you were a few steps from the doors that led to the aisle that he spoke. 

“don’t do it,” he whispered, so reverently that he might have been reciting a prayer. you paused and turned towards him, already shaking your head. 

but kaeya had already pushed himself off the wall and was now striding towards you, pleading as he did so. “don’t marry him, [you].”

you backed up a few steps, still shaking your head, and kaeya stopped, only feet away from you. 

“kaeya, don’t,” you said with a small frown. “don’t do this. go home. leave.”

“you know i can’t,” he said. he stared at the double doors that led to the entrance. “i can’t sit at home knowing you’re marrying another man.”

you said nothing at that. 

you knew that you should just push past him and begin your procession down the aisle. your guests were sitting and waiting. diluc would begin to wonder if you had gotten cold feet. the knights of favonius would be sent to find you if you did not show up soon. 

but you couldn’t move. 

“i waited too long,” kaeya continued at your silence. his voice was laced with bitter regret. “i should have asked you out before he got the chance.”

“don’t,” you interrupted, suddenly angry. “don’t talk to me about that.”

kaeya ignored you. “but by then it was too late—“

“so why wait to tell me this now?” you cut him off. “why wait until the day of my wedding? did you finally realize that you could no longer have me?”

“yes.” the tiny one-word confession took you by surprise. you had expected kaeya to deny your accusation and give you a cheap excuse, not offer you the honest truth. 

“then you should have realized that years ago,” you responded, finally shoving past him. you paused and spared him one last glance over your shoulder. “i— i waited for you to confess your feelings to me. maybe i would have ended things with diluc.”

your truth was even uglier than his. “but it’s too late now. and i will not settle for you because you realized that i moved on.” 

a small part of you wondered if that last part was entirely true. and if it wasn’t, how was this at all fair to diluc? 

swallowing back the guilt and shame and questions, you faced forward again and forced yourself to continue onwards, to the entrance of the nave, down the aisle, up the to alter.

and this time, kaeya did not stop you. 

scaramouche.

it was a small ceremony in the zapolyarny palace. 

you stood at the alter across from childe with pulcinella as your officiant. the few harbingers that had not been sent out on a mission served as your witnesses. they sat in benches set up previously set up by lesser agents. 

as pulcinella continued his rather long speech about love and matrimony, you scanned your guests and found yourself disappointed that scaramouche was not there. but after being missing-in-action for the past couple of years, you really should have known better than to expect him. 

his betrayal of the fatui was evident, but you had still wanted him at your wedding. 

“and now we will begin the vows,” pulcinella announced. you turned your attention back to childe. you wondered if he had actually taken the time to memorize his vows, but that question was swiftly answered when he pulled out a neatly-folded piece of paper from his suit. 

childe cleared his throat and opened his mouth to begin, but before he could start the doors to the room slammed open with a loud bang. 

scaramouche stormed in shortly after and marched down the aisle, stopping short of the alter. the other harbingers got to their feet but one look from pulcinella warned them not to attack. you paid them no attention. you were unable to do anything but stare at scaramouche because he was actually here. 

“look at this,” he said, his voice full of venom. “this pathetic wedding. is this really what the harbingers have been up to without me?”

his laugh was without humor. it sounded more like a cackle and sent shivers down your spine. childe noticed and moved to stand in front of you, and scaramouche let out another mirthless laugh. “i mean… i had heard word of this little… ceremony. but really, who would have thought it’d be true?”

“what are you doing here, balladeer?” childe demanded. he had not yet summoned his vision, but it was clear he would at any given moment. “have you come to tell us why you’ve been gone for half a decade? why you have betrayed the tsaritsa?”

“no, of course not. that's none of your concerns,” scaramouche sneered. he pointed at you and childe and turned to face the room. “i’ve come to object this—“

scaramouche wasn’t able to finish because at a nod from pulcinella, arlecchino, the closest one to him, had tackled him to the ground, knocking the wind out of him as she did. immediately the other harbingers moved to help her immobilize him, but arlecchino waved them off as she forced scaramouche to his knees in front of the alter. he struggled in her grasp, letting out a strangled, “what is the meaning of this?”

arlecchino angrily responded, “you admit you betrayed the tsaritsa and snezhnaya, though we already knew that. now that we've got you here, you will be answering our questions."

“we lured you here,” childe said, cutting off any protests from scaramouche. he stepped down to crouch in front of the balladeer. “spread rumors about me marrying [you]. you must have been out of practice in your absence for you to fall for such an elementary trap.”

he jerked his head to you. “it was their idea, actually. get you to object the wedding because you had been half in love with them before you disappeared. they even thought to exclude pierro and il captino to increase the odds of you showing your face.”

scaramouche turned to you then. betrayal and disgust shone on his face, but he didn’t look as surprised as you might have thought he would. maybe deep down inside, he had always known that you were capable of this. you were a member of the fatui, after all.

you gave him a wicked little grin. 

“oh but they’re coming,” you cooed. panic flashed in scaramouche’s eyes. you turned to arlecchino and then to il dottore, who was waiting to intervene if scaramouche somehow escaped. “take him away. we’ll let the jester deal with him however the tsaritsa desires.”

you ignored scaramouche's hurled insults and screams as the two of them dragged him out of the room to wherever the first harbinger was waiting. the few others left soon after. all that was left was you and childe and pulcinella, the latter still standing at the alter. 

“shall we continue?” childe asked. you merely laughed and walked out, only grateful that scaramouche had interrupted before the vows and rings were exchanged. 

Why’d I think this was Zhongli with a brand new look for a hot second until I looked at the tags-

HONKAI: STAR RAIL • DAN HENG

How dare you do him like this? Poor baby was devastated beyond anybody’s comprehension and started pouring his soul out! Not even sticky honey roast can make up for the sins that have been committed! 😭😭😭

Arataki Itto x GN Reader He Breaks Your Back Prank

🍮- is my signature for my fics @slimearchon​

Word count: 1662

Warnings: Mentions gang related violence and him trying to hurt himself. 

Title: Arataki Itto  x GN Reader He Breaks Your Back Prank

Summary: The title pretty much explains it all. 

(Picture not mine credit to owner!) 

Keep reading

I’m African-American

I have no idea what my accent is, but I’d assume I have a Southern accent since I grew up in the South

And I’m about 5′4 with short-ish hair (a little bit above my shoulders)

Brown eyes

Black/brown hair

And I’m built like the caterpillar from ‘A Bug’s Life’-

i know we all have our online faces here and all and im vv cool with that but i do get a little teensy bit curious what you all look like irl

like, what are your ethnicities? do u guys have accents? are you tall or with long hair or like what...

They look exactly like brownies! 🥺

Chocolate Marshmallows

Would’ve been great if one of them was there when I almost drowned at the YMCA. ;-;

Hi!!! I just wanted to start off by saying I LOVE YOUR WORK!! Like they’re amazing 😩💕💕💕 and I wanted to know if it was possible if I could request Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, Albedo (and maybe chongyun) saving their S/O who is about to drown and is unconscious? If it’s so much work it’s totally fine! ~ 💕

Thank you anon baby for all the looveeee <3

Headcanon

Warnings: not proofread, mild angst, hints of death but happy ending, drowning

Characters: fem reader x Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, Albedo and Chongyun

Scenario: Saving you from drowning

It was just a small miscalculation. Mitachurls were never a big problem, except when they’ve cornered you atop a cliff and there was nothing below except water. Not to mention your leg had been slightly sprained. The image of you stumbling backwards, tripping over your feet and then disappearing below the cliffs had him distracted from the fight.

The waves are strong. It keeps on pushing you down, and your legs are starting to get tired...

Diluc

Is already going to punish himself for the next few weeks for letting this happen.

“Y/N!” he tries to peer over the edge of the cliff still fighting off the Mitachurls.

Realizes that he can’t see your head anywhere on the surface of the water, abandons the fight and dives right off the cliff.

Frantically swims looking for you.

The water is cold and that scares him more.

Finally pulls you out to the beach and uses his vision to warm you up.

“Come on Y/N, don’t do this to me...” checks if you’re breathing.

You’re not. The world around him shatters.

Starts chest compressions on you. Nothing is happening. You aren’t breathing. He feels like he’s also starting to lose his ability to breathe... until you start to sputter water out.

He slumps on the ground relieved and angry at the same time.

You lay on the ground breathing heavily and coughing from time to time while he tries to get his bearings back. 

He’s totally out of it for a while thinking that he had COMPLETELY lost you.

Finally snaps out of it and wraps his arms around you, head buried below the crook of your neck.

“How many times do I have to tell you to be careful? I can’t lose anymore people, Y/N, specially not you. That’ll be the end of me,” 

His vocal confession makes you think you should jump off of cliffs more.

Kaeya

“Shit,” he doesn’t often swear but seeing you disappear down the cliff made him feel like HE was the one falling. He follows right behind, leaping off the cliff without any regards to himself and leaving the mitachurl behind him. 

His priority was you. 

He surfaces from the water and starts to REALLY lose his shit when he can’t find you on the surface or below it.

When he finally does he’s cursing left and right wondering if he took too long.

Drags you with him to the beach, presses his ear to your chest. You’re still breathing, but you’re so freakin cold.

“Princess, let me see those beautiful eyes,” starts CPR on you desperately. It actually works after a few and you’re back to breathing normally.

BIG sigh of relief when it works and immediately picks you up to travel back to Mondstadt. 

Despite insisting that you are okay he is going to take you to see healers. Maybe 3 or 4 just to make sure you are completely fine. 

Steers clear of cliffs for the next couple of days.

Zhongli

Face is blank. Looks calm but is internally unable to function properly. 

The fastest to abandon the fight and jump down the cliff to follow after you with a loud splash. 

Will use mouth to mouth resuscitation. 

When he’s at it for a while and it doesn’t work he’ll start to get teary eyed but still doesn’t say anything.

He starts regretting not spending enough time with you the past few days. You can’t go like this... Not when he had so many regrets. 

The sudden sputter of water from your mouth causes him to actually sigh and close his eyes, trying to mellow down his fast heart beat.

You’re okay. You’re fine. You’re alive. Is the chant he keeps repeating in his head.

“You would have to remain by my side in the next few weeks...”

He meant to say forever but didn’t want to be too clingy.

Albedo

Most likely the calmest of them all, but doesn’t mean he isn’t scared.

When he follows you into the water the cold hits him.

Even if he saves you from drowning you might get hypothermia from the cold. 

Luckily finds you easily through his own calculation of where you landed and his observation of the sea waves.

You’re barely conscious when he gets to you and he shakes you awake gently. “Y/N, Y/N, can you hear me?” Checks if your brain is working. “Do you know who I am? Can you tell me my name?”

Then suddenly you go limp in his arms which has him running over to shore.

Initiates mouth to mouth resuscitation but is kind of clumsy with it.

When it works and you spit water out, he realizes his hands are trembling in fear. He didn’t know if he could save you at all. 

But now that you’re fine, he takes slow breaths to calm down. 

Sits at the shore with you for a while, propping you up in one arm, moving the wet strands of hair away from your face.

Wraps his coat around you and is off to make sure you’re warm and completely fine.

Chongyun

panics the most.

goes back and forth between abandoning the fight or going after you and then feels stupid because he really should’ve went after you first.

When he finds you he panics even more. What was he supposed to do?

Stumbles and races to the shore with you in his arms, he’s panting and looks as if he was trying to win a marathon.

Already has tears in his eyes when he sees you’re unresponsive. 

Clumsy CPR skills but is surprisingly good at using the mouth to mouth method. 

“Please wake up, please wake up, please wake up...!” 

Tears already spilling from the corners of his eyes when it isn’t working.

“Nononononono...” doubles up his efforts and it finally works. You cough out water.

When you sit up, you get tackled down again by a bear hug and a Chongyun bear sniffling. 

Taglist:  @larkspyrr​ @outlet-0​ @rim0na​ @sweeti-pie​ @yamsthegod​ @reaped-winnower​ @hai-q-haikyuu​ @tkshoki​ @fanfictionenthusiast​ @skatercashew​

WHY ARE YOU EATING ROCKS-

little quirks each of the characters has.

characters: albedo, childe, diluc, kaeya, xiao, & zhongli reader: gn!reader warnings: none. be warned that it’s april fools, but in all serious: none.

a/n: absolutely an april fools series of headcanons. please do not take these seriously. 

albedo

at random times, you get the creepiest feeling about your boyfriend. you can never put your finger on it though.

the unsettling feeling always lurks and you feel almost guilty. it’s not a flight or fight response, nor is it a ‘this dude is weird’ type of feeling. rather, it’s just an odd feeling, like something is off about him.

you’ve never been able to place a finger on it until one day, you keep rubbing at your eye because something is in it. after blinking numerous times, the itchy feeling finally goes away, but you then look at your boyfriend’s eyes, wondering if he saw your little struggle.

albedo didn’t notice, completely transfixed in his book. you stare at him a bit longer. eyes… you think and your mystery is solved.

you now understand why he unsettles you at times.

you watch him in fascination as he reads his book, flipping the pages. you watch him for what feels like eons before you can’t take it anymore. you choose to burst out your revelation about him.

“you don’t blink!” you declare, having thoroughly decided that that was the issue with your otherwise lovely boyfriend.

albedo looks up at you slowly. he makes eye contact with you. and, of course, he blinks.

“what?” the blonde asks confusedly, blinking once more. you let out a deflated little sigh as his blinking schedule appears to go back to normal.

maybe next time you could record a video on your kamera and show him.

Keep reading

This is my new favorite piece of digital art because I love bubbles and that shade of blue! Super, duper pretty and cute!

★ 【桃花】 「 arona // blue archive 」 ☆ ✔ republished w/permission ⊳ ⊳ follow me on twitter

@lolibes

so i did the which genshin character are you most like quiz and the results- (/ω＼)

IM AN ALBEDO!! as a venti and albedo kinnie im- I LOVE THEM ٩(˃̶͈̀௰˂̶͈́)و٩(˃̶͈̀௰˂̶͈́)و٩(˃̶͈̀௰˂̶͈́)و

any albedo lovers that will accept me- i want to be loved ;-;

ALSO ZHONGLI AND VENTI??? hey my god complex is SHOWING. shshsheuhehshs also with capricorn, virgo and scorpio in my big three i think this is oddly specific LOL

here’s the link if anyone wants to do it!! do tag me if you do i wanna see who you guys get uwu (/ω＼)