2 Days Into 2020 And Y’all I Wholeheartedly Believe That 2050 Is Gonna Be My Year Cause If God Hasn’t

due to personal reasons I will be

Am I the only one who only cries at happy things and not at sad things????

Like I never tear up when a beloved character dies, but if that same character says something about believing in their found family or some shit I’m broken for the next week.

Fuck tragic character death or trauma I only cry when everyone in Lego Movie 2 starts singing together about how they won’t give up when they’re stuck in the Bin of Storajj.

cashier: that’ll be $5.67

me: *pulls out kangaroo and reaches into pouch* *pulls out cash* shit sorry dude I’ve only $6, you’ve got change, right

cashier: wtf

kangaroo: where is Australia

animal crossing but it’s just people in fur suits.

I hate the idea of the subconscious mind. I have a hunk of meat that makes up my personality but it’s keeping secrets from me? Fuck that

the v in vtuber stands for vore

science: Lonelier people take hotter baths/showers in order to compensate for their lack of ‘social warmth’.

me, already with my left leg submerged in a McDonald’s fry cooker: you’re fucken WRONG I am perfectly CONTENT 

holy shit more like

divine doodoo

As someone who likes using the internet it’s easy to find stories and drama from fandoms and stuff that are really interesting but I will never bring them up out of the fear of evoking said fandom’s wrath or just being in eye shot of them

I sleep with lots of pillows and blankies to compensate for my cold, dead heart.