Due To Personal Reasons I Will Be

I am funny man

animal crossing but it’s just people in fur suits.

I sleep with lots of pillows and blankies to compensate for my cold, dead heart.

2 days into 2020 and y’all I wholeheartedly believe that 2050 is gonna be my year cause if god hasn’t clapped my metaphysical cheeks by then I must be doin good

people who claim that they are “entitled to their opinion” often fail to remember that that rule applies both ways.

sure, you’re welcome to say what you want, but if I think your opinion is shit and I don’t like it I also have a right to call you out on it. 

soup but you replace the soup with ketchup

in the mood to write poetry in a notebook while holding a ball python in my left hand.

As someone who likes using the internet it’s easy to find stories and drama from fandoms and stuff that are really interesting but I will never bring them up out of the fear of evoking said fandom’s wrath or just being in eye shot of them

Am I the only one who only cries at happy things and not at sad things????

Like I never tear up when a beloved character dies, but if that same character says something about believing in their found family or some shit I’m broken for the next week.

Fuck tragic character death or trauma I only cry when everyone in Lego Movie 2 starts singing together about how they won’t give up when they’re stuck in the Bin of Storajj.

bro...I’m 100% straight bro...what do you think you’re doing with those perfectly kissable lips bro...