Pages

Voice

Voice in my ear

Telling me how you’re trying hard

You’re way too near

Get out of my ear

Voice on my face

Asking if I’m mad at you and why

You’re too much on my case

Get out of my place

Voice in my nose

Smelling the sickening sweetness

Waiting for the next tissue blow

You can’t know, you can’t know

Voice in the strands of my hair

Tickling my scalp, fooling it

Looking good when I’m in a helpless flare

Why do I care anymore? Why do I care?

Voice behind my eyes

Fucking causing me a headache

Are these voices lies?

When I’m an idiot, I’m buying; I buy

Voice in my own songs

I have to find a way to exterminate the exterminator!

I may be wrong,

But in me you do not belong

My Stupid Castle

And it looks like

This could be the end

Of this perfect palace

This new life

Was so sweet

With beginners luck

The fairy godmother magic

Could only hold out for so long

A kite flying

Then getting pulled back down

By the person who is flying it

At least

I didn’t get stuck

In a tree

My stupid castle

Was not built by a genius

It was built

By this peasant

Who was not destined to be a ruler

I now see myself once again

As not worthy

And I was silly to think I was

Depression

Is trying to kiss me

And sneak into my system

Through my chapped, chewed, cracked lips

I thought that we weren’t dating anymore, just friends

I can only keep

My dreams alive for so long

Before I become too worn down to maintain them

Being whipped

By disappointment

I can feel

Failure

Making its poisonous way back into my blood

I don’t know how to

Make myself clean again,

By sterilizing my depression

With

Hope

Let’s Start A Riot

Unpenetratable silence

Every movement amplified

But it's just because it's quiet

Can we silently start a riot? It's quiet enough to hear a pin drop 

You can hear people breathe

But that's because it's quiet

Can we please start a riot? Every move of this pencil sounds like it hurts

Trillions of graphite atoms screaming

My imagination goes crazy when it's too quiet

For my sanity, someone start a riot Or at least start talking

Tapping your foot would do

To stop the awkward quiet

Get us out of here so lead a riot When I'm alone, battling on my own

I want to listen to music for the illusion,

That it is not quiet

So I don't start a riot Music and words keep me sane

When I can no longer go,

Into the anxiety provoking quiet

Music and poetry are my silent riot

Friendship

The pain has returned

An ice melting burn,

That loses your best friend

That hand they used to lend, They retreated

When they are exactly what you needed

I liked them better before,

They left for a cup of sugar next door And there was someone else

Who was the first person I told about ol' Bergen Bels.

I had to let go

Time went fast, time went slow We got too close

I'm sorry for you, I had my goodbye toast

What is friendship,

Without the jump and the flip? Time stealing

Dime dealing

Time can make a wound

And put you in your tomb

Working The Night Shift

People think I'm lazy

But I'm awake for the same amount of time they are

I am just awake and asleep at a different time

They see me sleeping all day

But that’s because I'm awake all night

They say the early bird gets the worm

But what if I happen to consider myself the worm?

Not only that but…

The second mouse gets the cheese

I'm nocturnal

Either that or I was meant for the other side of the planet

But I do like seeing the stars

Street lights and few cars

It’s nice to be unbothered

By anyone really

Daytime people

Won’t understand the mood

Of Ziggy Stardust or the Dark Side of the Moon

Only Spacetime Oddities

Know about the secret societies

That only meet in the night,

Only to mess with the forces

Of the good, the bad, and the gravity

Along with pronking springboks  

Situation Impossible

Just wishing and hoping ain't gonna do nothing

It’ll just make it worse

But I do it anyway because I'm cursed

  Desire equals suffering

So don’t wait and hope

Before you open your big mouth you might as well fill it with soap

  If I desire not to desire anything that’s a desire

I love you but I can't fully have you

What am I supposed to do?

  I can't win with fire

The things I wish I could tell

I want you to just know why I may not be so well

  When should I stop having just a spark of hope?

It's 1 in the morning

And I'm mourning

  I'm beginning to realize that enough is enough, no more of this nope!

I think about you a bunch

I probably never even cross your mind from time to time ever much

  You are only somewhat removed

Now it's 1:08

And you are what I now hate

  Out of my life my safe person always moves

I need someone like you

I can't really tell you but I wish and hope that you knew

  I feel like puking I don’t want to be seen

Needing you so much I'm sick

This sickness cannot be fixed with vicks

  1:13

By the minute I'm getting older

You are warm and I don’t think I can get much colder

  Wishing waiting and hoping

In this situation it is impossible

I'm so sick I need the hospital

  I don’t know what I'm thinking, I have to find a new way of coping

1:21

Thinking about you I should be done

Pure Gold

You mend the cracks

In my weathered roads

With pure gold

You make me feel

Like a pharaoh

Of my world

In this danger

Of a world

you make me feel safe

It seems like you will still love me after anything

You are

The kind of sweet

That doesn’t give you cavities

Too good to be true

Which is why

I physically cannot stop smiling when I’m with you

I’m just a warm blooded oaf

Turned out

To be fools gold

Tick Tock

The time is ticking down

Ever wonder when you'll be buried in the kind ground?

Never knowing the complex answers,

To simple questions

How do you see, how do others see your reflection? Would you want to know your time?

What if it was after reading this very line?

How would you want to do?

I don't want to be forgotten

This world is rotten I desperately want to leave a good mark

Stardust going back to dark

Matter is neither created nor destroyed

Humans going back to blank

But this last time your aunt stank Earth magic

Turning people's lives into tragic

This world takes all back home

Tick tock

Are you friends or are you fighting the clock? Some can't wait

Others believe that they don't deserve the white gate

Poor nonbelievers

They take the tick tock truth how it is

That's why we miss

Lachrymorose

Seconds away from crying

This Hoover Dam of an eyelid is doing a good job

But it’s seconds away from breaking

All these tears dammed up inside could make Lake Lachrymose,

Leeches, Aunt Josephine and all

That was until she took the fall...

Tears on a cliff

Stacked up on a penny

About to spill over the thin edge

My hot tears

Have the potential

To set this place on fire

I know that

If I were to let them tumble down

They would burn my flesh with streams of lava

Droplets from the sun

Rain from Venus

This salt water is boiling within

Like tears from Rappaccini’s daughter

I am on my own

For I am poison

But I refuse to let them fall

Like pieces of hell

Raining from the ceiling

It’s Over

I cant believe its over

The ending came; it came without a warning; It came just this morning

And its all over now

I always knew the end of the tunnel,

Would come eventually

And its all over now

But I guess that I thought

The end would never come for me

And its all over now

The three year old is finally free

And scared

And its all over now

All those years of being held prisoner

All those moments stuck with mean dicktators

And its all over now

I was just doing my time,

Of a little shy of 20 years

And its all over now

Before I had come to the conclusion

That I had gotten a life sentence

And its all over now

Still stressed but now I can breath,

A little deeper

And its all over now

Part of me wants to go back because now I don’t know what to do,

Without someone yelling commands at me

And its all over now

On me own

All alone, just how I wanted it, right?

And its all over now

I can finally rip part of this crowded box open,

Shed my fake skin I had to plastered to myself just to survive

And its all over now

I want something different

I cant stand having the same ticky-tacky exterior of everyone else, of 9-5 days

And its all over now

T-20 years and still counting

I feel ripped off

And its all over now