Tick Tock

I Need My Feet to Forget

I need my feet to forget what motion feels like

Moving unnaturally fast

I need to stay rooted right now

I need time to think

My feet need to forget

What flying feels like

Because I keep nose diving

And maybe its just a part of learning

Maybe I have to suck first

It just seems like others don’t suck

And I'm the only one

Left behind in the dust

I cant stand up because

My feet refuse to forget

Silly feet,

Don’t you know that flying is unnatural?

Dear feet,

Please leave the job of flying

To the wings

Dear feet, you can run

I need my balance

I so should stick to the ground for now

I'm tired of being dizzy

And feeling bigger than I actually am

I'm tired of your illusion

I am the kind of person

That is dangerous

Once I know speed

So I need my feet to forget

What they now know

My feet need to forget the sky

And instead feel the grass, dirt, and tar

Lonesome

The word “I” is pretty lonesome

The word lonesome is not as lonely as I

I am lonely with myself

I lost myself again, I see…

I might have just have been lost at sea

Where will I find me?

Do you ever think about me?

Did you erase me from your memory because it was too painful?

I still miss what you threw away

I took the trash out Tuesday night

And I missed you Wednesday morning

I found a song that reeks of you

I almost went to the dump to look

All I found was a clean brook

I don’t think I knew you, before you turned into a sad crook

In that brook, I tried to baptized myself in the cleanliness and got a little lost

And sometimes I have a hard time putting on my holey socks

And sometimes I forget about the locks

I is lonesome

I need guidance; I can’t learn from trash

I'm better off lonesome

Please don't leave

I tell you not to

But I can’t truly stop you

I hope you realize that I'm trying

I'm not lying

I want to teach you how to fight

With all your might

Don’t let the inside voices take over

You’re my four leaf clover

You can do this

Sorry my advice might be amiss

You are strong

No I'm not wrong

I can see it in you

This you can get through

I'm always here

You are going to have to face the mirror

That I know you hate

You might want to pay more attention to your gait

You can tell a lot about a person just by looking at the way they walk

Don’t let those voices talk

Duck tape

Just anything so you can escape

You I believe in

You have my special mocking jay pin

Trust me I know what it’s like

That long, lonely, dark hike

I'm having my own problems too

I've got you

Please don’t leave

When you do I greave

How I want to save you, Kim

But I'm just too weak to go out on that extra shaky limb

I believe that, that battle is yours

You'll find the other doors

People all say that we’re safe and sound

But our little worlds go round and round

Don’t leave like that

Because then I can’t tell you to look out for that black cat

After that I'm no use

I can’t slip you out of that noose

Just don’t leave

Then there’s nothing to achieve

You are important

At the moment we’re just dormant

But we will someday come alive

Just give it five

Five what? you may ask

Life is sometimes a hard task

But you have me

If you would just believe

Take the leap

Have faith that it isn’t so deep

I beg you just please don’t leave

A Letter To My Anxiety

Hey anxiety,

You make me feel overwhelmed

With my increased heartbeat

You make me feel like I just cant, because it would be too much for me

Too much for me to handle

You make me feel like I would drown if I jumped into the deep end

But…

I have some good friends

And I have some good music

And even though you can make me scared,

I realize that I'm stronger than I know

And if I just ride the roller coaster I can feel accomplished later on

In Galaxies Of Snow

In galaxies of snow

You were blinded

You said I opened your eyes

But you are still near and far sided

You were lost in your own galaxy,

In fact you still are

And you have to rescue yourself,

From the fact that I live with part of a star

The sky with a blue tint

And the bright grey,

Did they not give you a hint,

That I need physical space on some days?

You are all touchy-feely

I’d prefer just being and you just being

You are all lovey-dovey

That you're just not seeing

I know that everyone shows love differently

You need to focus on yourself more,

Rather than focusing on what my lips feel like

I'm starting for the door

You seem to like the idea of this broken relationship

But it’s taken its toll,

With you, literally being attached at the hip

You need to get over yourself

In the way that you need to know every conversation

That has the slightest relation to me and you

But you think you need to know

Even if you already knew

Similarly to the whispers of your parents you don’t need to know about

The whispers of what they personally believe

And if they are wrong, you will try to correct them like a toddler while you pout

In galaxies of snow, you are unrightfully playing a selfish god as a child

You do that by saying, “You should totally let me hold your hand”

And you thought it was funny

But you can’t make me land,

And I'm so sorry that you cannot fly without money!

What Happened?

What happened to us?

What's with all the fuss?

How do you not know why you texted her?

My friend said that it wouldn’t be a good idea to get back with you; I concur

I'm afraid to call you an oaf

Since you still have my loaf

I don’t want to call you a nitwit

Even if that word perfectly fits

I don’t want to call you what you still are

To me what you are seems so far

I don’t want to say

You never really loved me all those days

We had, I had plenty of good thoughts

For you, I unfortunately had the wrong timed hots

No matter how badly you want to get back with me

Well now you'll get to feel how I did when I disagreed

It wasn’t a smart thing to do

This love was true

You literally ruined it for your good

You loved her, I understood

Now without you distracting me

I can get a good degree

You now are going to end up all alone

Even if you try to phone

I'm not going back to my heartbreaker

You were my heart taker

You better never say that I never loved

Last time I believed you when you sent your doves

This break up doesn’t really hurt

It will though, just wait for her dirt!

All’s Not Lost

All's not lost

Until I have lost my mind

Now I will write

Into the night As if I am some sort of time lord

I will write

Until I feel alright

A poet’s tailbone

Is where they keep their tales

My tailbone is tired

I shall steal my sleep

From tomorrow

I am a true night time poet

With dry, tangled hair

Who knows where I’ll be able to take myself

Some is lost

And I'll admit that I fucked up

But I can almost trust

That this shall continue

I shall continue on this journey

That is full of losing

And gaining

Journaling

I leave my journal laying open at night, hoping that the words will fly off the page

And drift out the window into the night air

And dance around the moon

I should start dreaming soon

Too many bugs flying around my world

You wouldn’t want forever

People change

And you’ve never seen my rage

I miss your calming

Smooth

Sing-song voice

You left me no choice

But to trust

And live in the exhilarating moment

And taught me that you don’t have to chase

Or try to erase

Moments

Of happiness and sadness

The magic is already there

Sparking in the air

Getting stuck in your crazy hair

That I miss more than you'd ever know

I'm stuck in negative time

While forgetting how to rhyme

Where are my feelings?

Behind my eyes

Sharp

Hidden under the weathered tarp

One day I will finish writing my story

And I’ll let the words swarm you like a tornado of bees

Or a meteor shower

A universe with all the power

I Got Worried

You should be worried about yourself

And yet you're worried about me

Even though you were in the ER the other day and still don't feel good

You worry about me staying up too late

And tell me, before you go to bed

To make sure that I don't stay up too late

When you're the one who is cold

You come to me with a pile of blankets

Even though it is you who is cold

And the same for when you're hungry

You come to me to ask if I'm hungry

Even if you know that I just ate

You worry about me choosing to walk alone

At night and in the dark

And you make me carry a flashlight because it makes you feel somewhat better

You turn the lights on

So that when I get home late from school

I am welcomed by light

And when I found out with morning confusion

That you were in the ER

That was when I got worried about you

In The Eye Of The Storm

I'm in the eye of the storm

It’s a nice break but I know it’s not over

The forecast shows another month of hell

In my brain that might not go over very well

It could become deformed

Rain will grow a green four leaf clover

Clear blue skies

And because of them, sometimes my heart dies

I don’t know the next time I’ll meet the sun again

I don’t care how long the storm is, I'm not going to stop

The odds I have to beat

It’s not easy at all stuck in the heat

The whispers of wind from way back when,

My jaw didn’t pop

When I could think freely without stress

Back when I didn’t know what made a mess

But it wasn’t great back then either

When my future comes I have to keep in mind that I can’t control what others think

Let them think whatever the hell they want

Let us be stupidly nonchalant

Dark clouds and rainstorms neither

Are the things that make you stink

Don’t believe in staying inside on rainy days

I don’t need the sun’s praise

I feel anxious for what my future could hold

I have grit

How will I make it much longer?

How much farther do I have to go?

I want to see books getting sold

Between a rock and a hard place I do not want to sit

I'm in the eye

And that gives me some time to think