Respect Is Not Love And Not A Quality To Fall For It’s A Simple Thing An Act Of human Decency So Don’t

We said we would fight the distance We said  we would never give up We knew  it wouldn’t be easy but we hoped for the best We failed and buried our sweetly spoken promises under all the other  never forgotten lies. Only left are the memories remembering us painfully what of a sweet life  we promised each other

We think to much

and forget to love instead

I feel trapped by my own heart  Losing my patience by searching your presence  in the fading words you left behind You promised me nothing  but I still feel betrayed Every day I am waiting  falling for you Staring at the world and no clue what to do

today I love you

tomorrow I hate you

next week we are forgotten

today you love me

tomorrow you miss me

next week we are forgotten

At least the pain shows

you were real

we were real

this was real

I am drowning in the ocean of time and space Lost myself in the gab of ending and beginning I will remain here sit and swallow my anxiety  shivering from the unpleasant unknown of what is coming next  I have to learn to swim

And you are still

the only person

who can keep me together

when I am about to fall apart.

I would love to allow me to be loved by you But honey, oh honey don’t doubt the loudness in my head words which scream how not enough I am over your words how much you adore me I want to let myself fall right into your arms where you would hold me tight and close but still every little bit of space would be just enough room to develop a black hole which teleport me right into my brain where my thoughts wait like thirsty wolves ready to punish me for letting myself fall for you

Go and search your fly swatter In the end, I am just a fly trapped in your mind searching a window to freedom You closed every escape after luring me so carefully Let me fly into your self-made prison And walls Covered with paintings of love and security Just to wake up at night to try to escape from the fly swatter you hid in your walls You wanted to spray so much love Where is it, honey? Did you lost your words just as easy as I lost the sight of the truth?

You can’t make a home out of a person

and at the end, it’s all I wanted  to make you my home fill your body with my spirit fill my soul with your love to find me in your mirroring eyes I wanted to make a home out of you feel your presence next to mine breath your air which filled your lungs once and now fill mine

And still no matter how hard I tried  to make a home out of you to hold on to the idea of what we could be you were never mine you were never my home no matter how hard I tried because you can’t make a home out of a person