Your Promises Sweet Like Honey Touching My Lips Filling My Soul Let’s See  How Long You Can Keep 

Go and search your fly swatter In the end, I am just a fly trapped in your mind searching a window to freedom You closed every escape after luring me so carefully Let me fly into your self-made prison And walls Covered with paintings of love and security Just to wake up at night to try to escape from the fly swatter you hid in your walls You wanted to spray so much love Where is it, honey? Did you lost your words just as easy as I lost the sight of the truth?

With you

time seems to be

half of an existence

In the beginning it passes quickly

Not even noticeable

And then infinity

I would love to allow me to be loved by you But honey, oh honey don’t doubt the loudness in my head words which scream how not enough I am over your words how much you adore me I want to let myself fall right into your arms where you would hold me tight and close but still every little bit of space would be just enough room to develop a black hole which teleport me right into my brain where my thoughts wait like thirsty wolves ready to punish me for letting myself fall for you

don't let me go

if I try to leave

hold on, hold on

or I am gonna fall

just by proving you

I could fly on my own

without your wings

saving me from my

heavy stubbornness

I desired to learn so many things

Like trusting, instead of searching affection in your night sky eyes

Like loving, instead of rushing only to control and not to lose

Like healing, instead of hurting myself and everyone I feel around

Like being thankful, instead of sorry for all the words which leave my mouth

Like living, instead of dying with every day I waste for nothing

Like living, like living like living time as easy as you do

Why do you feel so alive?

This silence

may safe you

but it kills me

from the inside

A letter to a friend I loved...i love. I miss.

I miss u

I miss the talks we had, the loud laughter, the random references

I miss the silence between our talks

I miss how your voice changes while eating something. I miss your way of saying "mhhhm" when you're enjoying your delicious chocolate.

I miss you

I miss you as the person you are

I miss the person I am around you

I miss the person I used to be with you

I miss the friendship we had, because it's a matter of fact, that eventhough we said we would try it one last time, we both agreed to give up of what we had left, without knowing it. I miss the old days.

I miss to listen to your problems, eventhough they were a bit silly sometimes and I did not knew what to say, but they were important to you, so they were important to me, because you were important to me.

I miss the way I've never missed our friendship. I miss the way I've though about you. I miss the excitement I had, by thinking about calling you. I miss the enjoyment I had by talking to you, like to no one else. I miss the way I made you laught and I miss the way you've mad me laught so many times.

I miss the plans we made for our future,eventhough we knew they would never come true, but dreams will be dreams and we lived them in our head.

I miss not missing you.

I miss complaining and overthinking our friendship. I miss fearing of losing you, because that ment I haven't lost this yet. Cuz now it is not you I am writing, but my notebook.

I miss not thinking if i should write you, but just do. I miss our games and inside jokes. I miss Oleg . I miss Oleg a lot. I miss knowing what is going on in your life and I miss letting you know what is going on inside mine. I miss getting mad about you, for no real reason and I miss starting smiling out of nowhere, just because I thought about a funny thing you've said once.

I miss the way you saw me. I miss our conversations and how light and easy they could be. I miss, I hate not being able to write you because...that what we had is in the past and we both seem to have moved on...but still...sometimes you are the only person I want to talk to. I miss the way "sometimes " did not exist. I really miss not missing you.

I miss how you laughted about my really bad jokes. Damn they where bad. I miss falling asleep whit knowing you would still be there. I miss this friendship so badly I can't. It's true, you value things way more, when they are gone.

I hate this so much. I hate that we are kinda in touch, but don't talk at all and if we do, we don't come over some Texts and then everything is dead.

I don't know if we will ever be real friends again. I don't know how you may feel and I really want to know.

I don't know if there will ever be another person with whom I may experience a similar friendship. Well there is somebody I really love but it's not the same we had. And that's what I miss .... the friendship we left behind.

I hate trying to having to distract myself of not thinking about you, especially when it gets late and I don't know what to do. I am haunted by the ghost of you, of my old me, of the person we were and pretended to be.

I miss

stranger

You are just a stranger I introduced to my heart so it feels less empty and I less alone

I am just a stranger you introduced to your heart so I would satisfy your needs and you would feel complete 

We are just two stranger who agreed to use each other  to fill our desires in the most egoistic way possible 

You are a beautiful soul  remember that

And if he wants to leave  Let him go Because you can’t hold onto something that's already gone You can’t stop people Neither stop time or stop moving on And you will see Someday you will feel  Awake and alive again Because after all

You are a beautiful soul remember that 

melted chocolate in your eyes, a steady fire reflecting your soul, your blushing lips, a bed of a beard, your waterfall hair tangling mine, a velvet smile, an alluring glimpse, my heartbeat in sync with your breath, fast spoken words, soft and sweet, you are mine and I am yours

I love how your eyes shine in the dawn and the inner child you never hide I love the way your fingers play with mine how you kiss my feet, how you bite my toe I love how your lashes frame your eyes and how your sun-kissed face has a golden shine I love how your voice carries a scent of stars how you and I feel like venus and mars I love how I hate to feel your breath at night and how I yet hide in your arms from all the dreams I fight

the inner child you made me save so yours and mine can always play and whoever you shall be in the next year or the ones coming I will always love you with all the strength my heart can offer you leo beauty, my water eyes, I am yours and you are mine