You Are A Beautiful Soul  Remember That

We said we would fight the distance We said  we would never give up We knew  it wouldn’t be easy but we hoped for the best We failed and buried our sweetly spoken promises under all the other  never forgotten lies. Only left are the memories remembering us painfully what of a sweet life  we promised each other

I desired to learn so many things

Like trusting, instead of searching affection in your night sky eyes

Like loving, instead of rushing only to control and not to lose

Like healing, instead of hurting myself and everyone I feel around

Like being thankful, instead of sorry for all the words which leave my mouth

Like living, instead of dying with every day I waste for nothing

Like living, like living like living time as easy as you do

Why do you feel so alive?

You have to take actions they say but how to move when I am paralyzed by the speed of time which sometimes moves too fast and sometimes don’t move at all

Honey

Honey, you want to heal? forget the ugly words and the things he did how he blew out the candle  and you found yourself lost as the light faded away

Honey, you want to move on? Let go of the past  and the “I love you”s you shared Take back the person you gifted the time you shared Take back everything you don’t want him to keep

Honey, you want to live again? Leave the sadness you found after love and start all over again Find love in yourself and the things you enjoyed  Make room in your mind by throwing him out Find comfort in being alone

Honey, is that what you want? Healing, moving on and living? Because the truth is, it’s all in your hands but you rather remain in your situation Do you fear that the pain it takes to let it go would be more hurting than the pain you are currently in?

Honey, you won’t heal by  rereading and relistening old text messages and voice mails You won’t move on by  asking the universe for a call from him You won’t live again by reliving the memories you saved in your mind

You won’t find yourself by searching him

Honey, stop it,  Stop procrastinating on the future  Stop hurting yourself with the past  Don’t throw yourself away  It’s your love where you will find yourself again Not his

It’s you where you will gain the power from to heal move on  and live again

So tell me

how can you

love someone

and don't care at all?

another night has taken my heart, ripped it out of my hollow chest, to feed it to the moon and her shining children stars

this easy I've lost my heart, as easy as I did with you. oh baby I've been bagging you to forget our unspoken words. silence hurts differently and I know mine burns the worst

I have become a monster, rough claws, a hateful voice, green eyes, red lips, cold bones. are you ready to fight my demon? because oh baby, I have already lost the war

We think to much

and forget to love instead

A letter to a friend I loved...i love. I miss.

I miss u

I miss the talks we had, the loud laughter, the random references

I miss the silence between our talks

I miss how your voice changes while eating something. I miss your way of saying "mhhhm" when you're enjoying your delicious chocolate.

I miss you

I miss you as the person you are

I miss the person I am around you

I miss the person I used to be with you

I miss the friendship we had, because it's a matter of fact, that eventhough we said we would try it one last time, we both agreed to give up of what we had left, without knowing it. I miss the old days.

I miss to listen to your problems, eventhough they were a bit silly sometimes and I did not knew what to say, but they were important to you, so they were important to me, because you were important to me.

I miss the way I've never missed our friendship. I miss the way I've though about you. I miss the excitement I had, by thinking about calling you. I miss the enjoyment I had by talking to you, like to no one else. I miss the way I made you laught and I miss the way you've mad me laught so many times.

I miss the plans we made for our future,eventhough we knew they would never come true, but dreams will be dreams and we lived them in our head.

I miss not missing you.

I miss complaining and overthinking our friendship. I miss fearing of losing you, because that ment I haven't lost this yet. Cuz now it is not you I am writing, but my notebook.

I miss not thinking if i should write you, but just do. I miss our games and inside jokes. I miss Oleg . I miss Oleg a lot. I miss knowing what is going on in your life and I miss letting you know what is going on inside mine. I miss getting mad about you, for no real reason and I miss starting smiling out of nowhere, just because I thought about a funny thing you've said once.

I miss the way you saw me. I miss our conversations and how light and easy they could be. I miss, I hate not being able to write you because...that what we had is in the past and we both seem to have moved on...but still...sometimes you are the only person I want to talk to. I miss the way "sometimes " did not exist. I really miss not missing you.

I miss how you laughted about my really bad jokes. Damn they where bad. I miss falling asleep whit knowing you would still be there. I miss this friendship so badly I can't. It's true, you value things way more, when they are gone.

I hate this so much. I hate that we are kinda in touch, but don't talk at all and if we do, we don't come over some Texts and then everything is dead.

I don't know if we will ever be real friends again. I don't know how you may feel and I really want to know.

I don't know if there will ever be another person with whom I may experience a similar friendship. Well there is somebody I really love but it's not the same we had. And that's what I miss .... the friendship we left behind.

I hate trying to having to distract myself of not thinking about you, especially when it gets late and I don't know what to do. I am haunted by the ghost of you, of my old me, of the person we were and pretended to be.

I miss

finding myself drifting to sleep in your arms knowing that waking up next to you will be a great reason to wake up for

My

actions

are not

to blame

for your

mistakes