I'm literally prepping for college in two weeks and I did my resume the other day and it so happened that the one that helped me was an old teacher of mine. Anyway she wanted me to email her back the resume so she can help edit it more and the name of the email account I gave her was literally not my name. I have over 10 accounts, most don't have my name, and I literally ughhhhhhhhh
*Draco and Sam skipping stones on lake* Draco: It’s such a beautiful evening. Sam, whispering: Take that you fucking lake
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Draco: *Gets down on one knee* Sam: Oh my god, it’s finally happening. Draco: *Falls over* Sam: The poison is kicking in.
(Just kidding, I love him...kinda)
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Draco: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen! Sam: Really? Name one law Draco: Don't kill people? Sam: That's on me. I set the bar too low.
(What happens when lucius raises a child)
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Draco: It’s dark in here Sam: Don’t worry dude I got this Sam: *Stomps their feet* Sam: *Skechers light up*
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Draco: I made tea. Sam: I don’t want tea. Draco: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea. Sam: Then why are you telling me? Draco: It is a conversation starter. Sam: That’s a lousy conversation starter. Draco: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.
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Draco: *Accidentally hits Sam in the face* Draco: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'* Draco: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?! Sam: What’s wrong with you?!
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Draco: Do you take constructive criticism? Sam: I only take cash or credit.
For reference I am the daughter of Mihawk and a woman named Cassandra, and my siblings are Perona, Lynn (oc), Zoro, and Jason(oc)
Dracule: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous. Sam: What if it bites me and it dies!? Perona: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Sam, learn to listen. Lynn: What if it bites itself and I die? Zoro: That’s voodoo. Jason: What if it bites me and someone else dies? Sam: That’s correlation, not causation. Lynn: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die? Zoro: That’s kinky. Dracule: Oh my God.
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Dracule: Time for plan G. Sam: Don’t you mean plan B? Dracule: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Perona: What about plan D? Dracule: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Lynn: What about plan E? Dracule: I’m hoping not to use it. Zoro dies in plan E. Jason: I like plan E.
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Jason: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Sam: Several traffic violations. Perona: Three counts of resisting arrest. Lynn: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Zoro: Also, that’s not our car.
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Jason: I’m an idiot. Sam: Perona: Lynn: Zoro: Jason: Sam: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.
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*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker* Cass: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Everyone: Sam: ...I did. I broke it. Cass: No. No you didn't. Jason? Jason: Don't look at me. Look at Lynn. Lynn: What?! I didn't break it. Jason: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? Lynn: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken. Jason: Suspicious. Lynn: No, it's not! Zoro: If it matters, probably not, but Perona was the last one to use it. Perona: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! Zoro: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? Perona: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Zoro! Sam: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Cass. Cass: No! Who broke it!? Everyone: Zoro: Cass... Jason's been awfully quiet. Jason: rEALLY?! *Everyone starts arguing* Cass, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. Cass: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Cass: Cass: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
I haven’t fully shifted, I don’t think. I lucid dream almost every night and every one of those dreams feel real, but I feel like I can differentiate between a dream and reality (that’s a lie, typing this feels like I’m in a dream lol) but I digress. For instance I’ve had dreams (minishifts??) about my House of the Dragon Desired Reality and I DESPISE Daemon. He sucks. Now whenever I see anything with Matt Smith (his actor) I just feel rage and annoyance. I know Matt isn’t the same as the character he plays, it’s just rough. I would never go as far as to threaten or send death threats or anything, it’s just an uncontrollable emotional reaction to the face of my biggest opp. I don’t really know how else to explain but have other shifters (lucid dreamers??) had this same problem? Alternatively when someone shifts for love and they come back here and they have to see the person with the same face as their lover loving another, is that hard? It’s just such a delicate thing I think. Maybe I’m just crazy and not processing it correctly. I don’t know but has anyone else experienced this?
alright slutty waist cuntlord supreme, we get it.
what r u doing on tumblr. Go shift dweeb
Me: Yeah, right, crumpet muncher, that's why we won the war!
Draco: At least we don't have shitty presidents!
Me: (forgets its 1996) Yeah, that's why the queen is dead.
Draco: ...
Me: What? Oh...
Draco: Are you plotting to kill the queen?
Me: Draco, no!
(I'm still American in my dr if you couldn't tell
idk so im just gonna type all about my fame dr cuz i love it so much im so fr. So I live in a one floor ranch house with Sapnap. My name is Sam Mathers, and Karl Jacobs (Mathers) is my twin brother. Eminems our dad. Anyway we live in a small house because im never home and i save as much possible for the mathers foundation which helps the homeless and struggling (no conflicts or genocides such as palestine are going on, free palestine) I am a worldwide famous actress and singer and am basically in anything i want because i am literally yn. Me and Sap have five pets in total, his cats and dog, and my cat, Dumpster, and raccoon, Capone. On top of acting and singing, i also stream when I can and participate in mr beast videos and stuff. My personal assistant is named Ivy and i literally love her so much. I play in the walking dead and marvel and A quiet place and Twisters and House of the Dragon and Bridgerton. It's awesome but busy but i like it like that and i love it and im gonna shift tonight and so r u.