For reference I am the daughter of Mihawk and a woman named Cassandra, and my siblings are Perona, Lynn (oc), Zoro, and Jason(oc)
Dracule: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous. Sam: What if it bites me and it dies!? Perona: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Sam, learn to listen. Lynn: What if it bites itself and I die? Zoro: That’s voodoo. Jason: What if it bites me and someone else dies? Sam: That’s correlation, not causation. Lynn: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die? Zoro: That’s kinky. Dracule: Oh my God.
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Dracule: Time for plan G. Sam: Don’t you mean plan B? Dracule: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Perona: What about plan D? Dracule: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Lynn: What about plan E? Dracule: I’m hoping not to use it. Zoro dies in plan E. Jason: I like plan E.
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Jason: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Sam: Several traffic violations. Perona: Three counts of resisting arrest. Lynn: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Zoro: Also, that’s not our car.
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Jason: I’m an idiot. Sam: Perona: Lynn: Zoro: Jason: Sam: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.
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*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker* Cass: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Everyone: Sam: ...I did. I broke it. Cass: No. No you didn't. Jason? Jason: Don't look at me. Look at Lynn. Lynn: What?! I didn't break it. Jason: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? Lynn: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken. Jason: Suspicious. Lynn: No, it's not! Zoro: If it matters, probably not, but Perona was the last one to use it. Perona: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! Zoro: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? Perona: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Zoro! Sam: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Cass. Cass: No! Who broke it!? Everyone: Zoro: Cass... Jason's been awfully quiet. Jason: rEALLY?! *Everyone starts arguing* Cass, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. Cass: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Cass: Cass: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
Me: Yeah, right, crumpet muncher, that's why we won the war!
Draco: At least we don't have shitty presidents!
Me: (forgets its 1996) Yeah, that's why the queen is dead.
Draco: ...
Me: What? Oh...
Draco: Are you plotting to kill the queen?
Me: Draco, no!
(I'm still American in my dr if you couldn't tell
alright slutty waist cuntlord supreme, we get it.
Btw I finally shifted, aaah!!
Draco: You saved me. I owe you my life. Sam: No thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed.
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Draco: I actually have a black belt. Sam: In what, karate? Draco: No, from Gucci.
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Draco: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail Sam: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police
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Draco, tending to Sam's wounds: How would you rate your pain? Sam: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.
We're like weird siblings i swear
"Saw that coming a mile away" says every HotD watcher in unison.
Alicent: Why is he smiling? Why are you smiling?!
Aemond: What, I can't just be happy?
Helaena: Aegon fell down the stairs and took Lord Larys with him.
Aemond: (:
Update: It’s really bruised and looks like a zombie bite. I could totally play a late april fools day prank, but thats too much effort. I’m still thorougly convinced he gave me a disease
what r u doing on tumblr. Go shift dweeb
*Draco and Sam skipping stones on lake* Draco: It’s such a beautiful evening. Sam, whispering: Take that you fucking lake
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Draco: *Gets down on one knee* Sam: Oh my god, it’s finally happening. Draco: *Falls over* Sam: The poison is kicking in.
(Just kidding, I love him...kinda)
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Draco: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen! Sam: Really? Name one law Draco: Don't kill people? Sam: That's on me. I set the bar too low.
(What happens when lucius raises a child)
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Draco: It’s dark in here Sam: Don’t worry dude I got this Sam: *Stomps their feet* Sam: *Skechers light up*
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Draco: I made tea. Sam: I don’t want tea. Draco: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea. Sam: Then why are you telling me? Draco: It is a conversation starter. Sam: That’s a lousy conversation starter. Draco: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.
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Draco: *Accidentally hits Sam in the face* Draco: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'* Draco: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?! Sam: What’s wrong with you?!
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Draco: Do you take constructive criticism? Sam: I only take cash or credit.