I Finally Got The Halsin Proposition/sex Cutscenes And I Have No Idea What Some Of You Are Talking About.

NPCs

Sometimes my mind keeps going back to that one Bhaal cultist who wanted things to be quiet and I wonder what if she was a far more tragic figure than anyone would ever know. It's no surprise that most are sadistic, most are mentally ill or simply craved power, but what if that one's desire was born from trauma? What if she had once been a child, born in an abusive environment, unable to relax because it'd make whoever she was around angry? What if her days had consisted of fear and pain, a constant theme of screaming and yelling that scraped her nerves raw while she was silently wishing for things to be quiet? What if she had been praying for the gods to answer, only to be met with shattering glass and deafening thumps of pottery and metal hurled at her head?

Day in, day out.

The noise just won't stop.

Why won't it stop?

Why won't they be quiet?

When will it stop hurting?

Until one day, something snaps and before she knows it, she's standing in the middle of the room, hands bloodied, her tormenter(s) dead.

And for the first time, it's quiet. So blissfully quiet.

A lost soul that begged for mercy and peace. And Bhaal was the only God who answered her pleas.

Gortash fans are saying this?! Gortash fans?! Fans of a guy:

-Who violated Karlach's bodily autonomy

-Sold Karlach into slavery

-Who experimented on people

-Streamlined the interrogation of people's brains in a jar by using an elven woman's head to voice their thoughts in that Mindflayer pit. One of those brains was a child's by the way.

-Ran a dictatorship through the Steel Watch with innocent civilian brains running them

-Whose own fans admit that part of Gortash's appeal is his "rapey" look?!

And they have the gall to act self righteous about nonexistent creepy behavior from a character?!

I fucking HATE the Facebook girlies sometimes.

Ripped this from the comments of a post in a Gortash simp group that was talking about which of them smelled better/worse

The amount of people who think he's creepy TRULY confuses me. Like where do you get this from, who hurt you????

He's an autistic man who loves animals and nature and has a soft spot for orphaned children????? If you romance him, he is the most loving, comforting, and supportive character in the game and is ALL ABOUT CONSENT????? And you think he's A CREEPY PREDATOR????

Sometimes I wish for a mod that took the sex scene and used it as a reconciliation moment after his judgement (sans waking up alone in the barn)

gentle reminder that you don’t have to wind up naked and alone in a barn to continue the relationship with blackwall and can instead have the softest, purest scene with him instead at no cost of approval

i think perhaps the most annoying/exhausting phenomenon in existence is when something kind of genuinely sucks but it has, like, a female lead or whatever so half the people that are saying it sucks are nightmare people that unironically call things "woke garbage" and the other half are people that just like. have a basic sense of story structure and knowledge of character arcs as a concept that quite reasonable think this thing sucks. BUT it gets assumed that 100% of people who think it sucks are in that first half and then there's a backlash TO the backlash and all along it's still not a good fucking story. I call this "The twilight phenomena" because it got a lot of hate because of a mockery of teenage girls when it had well deserved hate for the like racism and misogyny and the throwaway detail that a grown ass man is somehow romantic soulmates with a quite literal baby.

Defending my new favorite ship again because why tf not

I’ll start by stating the obvious (cuz apparently it isn’t a given to some of the folks on here, which is weird, but okay). We DO NOT condone abuse in any form. With that said, an explanation is not an excuse and many folks, almost all I’d venture to guess, have been abusive at some point in their lives (I know I wouldn’t have been on the receiving end of so much abuse if that were untrue - hurt people hurt people). We also DO NOT condone racism. I get the feeling people assume malice on the Ghoulcy shipper side because of disgusting comments that were made long ago about Rey and Finn (which was a similar dynamic that, I’d argue, made more sense than a Lucy/Max relationship but that’s also my 🌈 heart shipping him with Dane). These disclaimers also extend to the villains, which Barb is one of. We DO NOT condone misogynoir here either cuz while I haven’t seen much racism on Lucy/Max, I have seen a surprising amount about Barb. Being a fictional villain does not allow for any kind of bigotry, NOTHING does, but I digress.

So on Ghoulcy, I’ll say this. The foreshadowing is layered heavily throughout the story. Whether they are intended to be friends or partners is up for debate, but the writing makes it quite clear that these characters are destined to team up, bringing us to the end of Season 1 when Lucy walks off with Cooper. I’m brought back to what Wilzig said at the beginning of the season, when Lucy was by herself camping and he warned her several times to go home before finally saying:

“The question is, will you still want the same things when you’ve become a different animal altogether?”

Lucy is very distraught at the end of the season after learning everything she does about her dad and Vault-tec and, for her to return to the vaults and live out her days there, with or without Max, seems like a stretch when things are all said and done. This can be poignantly compared to Persephone going to the underworld (in Lucy’s case, the surface world) - she has eaten the proverbial pomegranate.

This isn’t the only dynamic which Ghoulcy has been compared to, either. I have also seen them compared to Beauty and the Beast, which brings Max back into the dynamic often as a Gaston. Personally, I don’t see that, but if he turned out to be a villain it would be an interesting storyline and Aaron Moten could play it off very well. But bringing Max back in, something about his character to me feels very incomplete and I’m not sure if a love interest is the way forward for him. We only know one of his wants:

“I want to hurt the people who hurt me.”

And at the end of the season it’s like he seems less convinced by that, even though it’s hard to guess exactly what he’s thinking when he is knighted (something he should want, but judging by his expression he seems disenchanted by it) and finds Lucy has left. Part of the reason I ship him and Dane is because Dane has been a rock to him, one who he can probably trust with doubts about the Brotherhood. But returning to Ghoulcy, Cooper has been exactly where Lucy is before. He was betrayed by the one person he trusted most and what did he love most about Barb before they divorced (remember there was talk about alimony in the first episode - not sure how people forgot that):

“I know you always try to do the right thing. That’s what I love about you.”

Who embodies that better than Lucy, I ask you. (Cooper very well could still care about his ex-wife so take that with a grain of salt) But when it comes down to it, and we don’t know who initiated the divorce so it’s up for interpretation like any good story, part of Cooper died when he listened in on Barb’s Vault-Tec meeting just like part of Lucy is dying after she learns what her father did to her mother and Shady Sands.

“If my dad found out that I destroyed an entire community to save him... that'd break his heart.”

That is likely what’s on repeat for her when she learns about the city. And when Cooper offers her his company to New Vegas, his tone notably softens. I think when they first met, the vile things Cooper did to Lucy made her realize very quickly what she would have to do to make it on the surface. Cooper is intrigued, maybe even put off by, her genuine goodness. And it’s not just that, but he sees part of his past self and seeks to kill it any chance he can get. I’d argue that’s a large part of why he’s so cruel to her (him shooting the Vault Boy poster was more than just a fuck you to Vault-Tec). And likewise, Lucy shows him that embracing his humanity again is not so bad - whatever morsel he has left. It begins with trust, though, whatever they have. When she follows him, he has his back turned to her and is walking ahead with the dog. Normally, he wouldn’t put himself in such a vulnerable position, but he is showing her that he believes in her golden rule. Or more accurately that he believes that she believes in it.

Anyway, I dare not risk turning this into an actual essay. It’s already long enough. I’m interested in exploring other aspects that I might have missed if y’all have any thoughts.

i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues

I cannot believe there's absolutely no way to watch free shows and movies anymore, there are too many paid streaming platforms and pirating websites have viruses and ads preventing you from watching it uninterrupted((.)) id rather follow the rules and purchase media moving forward because it is too inconvenient. Seriously, free and no ads or viruses with 1080p streaming is DEAD.

garrus lives rent free in my mind. garrus can do no wrong. he may be conflicted with his sense of justice but lest you forget that this man dropped everything multiple times to join his lady in saving the galaxy. he recognized her as soon as he saw her on Omega. he never questioned if she was really shepard after being brought back by cerberus. he said to hell with turian standards AND GRABBED HER HAND ON MENAE. he is simply unmatched.

rolling in bed thinking about halsin

his softness and his kindness. how he carries the burden so others don't have to. how he offers help and guidance to those asking. how he places others before himself.

halsin and his view on life itself. how he managed to survive the most brutal blows a life could offer. and not come out all bitter. how instead of guarding his heart, he opens it willingly.

and yet, how he carries the sorrow. the grief. the odd little fragments of survivor's guilt. how he feels the sharp edges of torn threads. the connection that was once there. the people that are now merely ghosts, only alive in his memory. his family, his mentors, all those he could not save.

i'm thinking of that halsin. and him saying

"I never thought I would outlive her."

There are a couple more Garrus-Vakarian-related hills I'm willing to die on.

Maybe this particular bit of fanon has faded over the years, but there used to be a lot of insistence that Garrus is young and somehow inexperienced when he meets Shepard. Canon doesn't really support this. Turians start their mandatory service at 15. Garrus has at least a decade of experience. Even if he's 2-4 of years younger than Shepard (according to Patrick Weekes), he's got at least as much field experience as she does by dint of the difference in turian and human "enlistment" ages.

Garrus is really damn good at his job at C-Sec. You don't give the Case of Investigating the Rogue Spectre to a greenhorn. You give it to your best, most tenacious agent. Pallin may not always approve of Garrus's actions, but that doesn't actually stop him from putting Garrus on the tough case. Also, we don't know much about how C-Sec works but we do know a bit about how the turian hierarchy works, and we know C-Sec was essentially a turian initiative. That means it's a meritocracy where failure reflects on the superior, not the one who failed. So, in roughly a decade (Shepard's 29 in ME1; I always think of Garrus as about 27), Garrus has not only done shipboard military service, but he's also risen to be one of C-Sec's top investigators; Pallin wouldn't risk having Garrus's "failure" reflect poorly on HIM otherwise. I'd say that actually makes Garrus as remarkable in civilian law enforcement terms as Shepard is considered to be within the ranks of the Alliance military.

Of course Garrus was scouted by the Spectre program. And honestly, if his dad hadn't stepped in, I think Garrus would have become a Spectre, no problem. Especially for a turian, he's cut from precisely the cloth the Spectres would be looking for: extremely skilled, extremely capable, and--most importantly--he's a turian not just able but willing to work outside the chains of command that turians are taught from birth to revere and be loyal to above all else. This is the reason Pallin is leery about Spectres: he's a good turian. Good turians follow straight lines; they don't carve out their own paths.

Garrus's dad's not dumb, and he's not cruel, and he, too, rose to the top of the C-Sec hierarchy. He took one look at his kid, I think, and said, "I love my child, but I'd say it's a 50-50 chance he ends up a shooting-first-asking-questions-later Spectre like Saren Arterius, and I don't want to see that happen." Yeah, he uses his parental influence to try and jam square-peg-Garrus into round-hole-C-Sec and Garrus resents him for it, but there's no way he did it just to stop his son from getting his way or because he doesn't like Spectres. I expect Vakarian Sr. had to clean up more post-Spectre-interference messes than we can possibly imagine. But we also know he and Alec Ryder were pals later.

So the importance of what Garrus learns from a Paragon Spectre Shepard is this: You can't just do what you want and claim the ends always justify the means. That's what Saren does. Over and over again. Garrus's code and his idealism and his sense of justice and his ability to work alone should make him a great Spectre, actually, but he needs Paragon Spectre Shepard's actions to show him the lesson he tells her he's learned during ME1: "If the people I'm sworn to protect can't trust me... well, then I don't deserve to be the one protecting them." (And the seed of Archangel was planted.) I think for the first time he realizes that even though he believes his sense of justice to be correct, it doesn't matter for shit if he can't show others why that's so. And that's where the trust comes in. (Also, ow, the extra level of importance this gives their exchange where she tells him she trusts him and he tells her she's about the only friend he has left is... a lot. Cool, cool. I'm totally fine. Nothing to see here.)

When Shepard asks him what happened on Omega, he replies, "My feelings got in the way of my better judgement." Something tells me that this never happens to "good" turians, which just makes the line so much more devastating. And although the lesson some might take away from this is "feelings bad; no feelings ever," the "grey" that Garrus has to learn to deal with is precisely the grey of recognizing feelings, validating them even, but not acting on them until they've been examined. (Which is why my Shepard stands between him and Sidonis; she doesn't give a shit about Sidonis. But Garrus has refused to process his own feelings of failure and self-loathing, so they have to take the therapy session to the Citadel and deal with it there.)

Ahh yes. The mountain range of character analysis.