I Need To Break Up Rn Urgh

It isn't relapsing if it's a new method

NOOOOOO YOU WERENT SUPPOSE TO FALL IN LOVE W ME NOOOOOOOO

I thought I thought I was generally healed from my ED but evidently not cuz I just threw up all my guts and 5 hours + a nap later I can still feel mia

Do men purposely say "you can say no if u wanna" cuz they know it makes a woman more inclined to say yes cuz it manipulates her into thinking he respects her

i love dexter

I fear I'm getting a hyperfixation to dexter and dispite my hate for reading and my inability to read (dyslexia) I might buy the books to read them

Lowk lost all will to live again

Lowk burnt out again

Lowk drinking alone again

Lowk ugly again

Lowk fat again

Lowk hate myself again

Lowk relapsed again

Lowk unlovable again

Lowk lost everything again

I hate spring

I got that spring time apring time sadness

Why does no one else have spring seasonal depression

Spring highlights my low mood cuz everything is suppose to be happy

Im a woman ofc I'm just a body...

Should be sleeping so i can wake up for college intime but instead im watching sharing the secret cuz I never see my representation its always ana

Addiction sucks because you get so deep into it that you dont know how to live without your substance. Life without it feels so lacklustre. You lose track of who you are

I am an alcoholic trying to recover but living without is so hard for me.

This is my plan

I will start drinking in secret to try reduce my alc intake cuz trying to go sober is really hard, idk how to act sober, idk who I am sober, idk how to feel normal sober

It just doesnt work for me

Trying to stay sober while everyone around you is either street drinking or clubbing is so hard

I'm 18 why do I have to struggle like this

The only way I will feel happy without blacking out or doing stupid shit is if i keep drinking but without telling anyone,

Doing it in secret because then I will be worried about people knowing so I will be forced to drink less but I still get to have the clutch that makes me likeable and able to actually enjoy my time

I know this is a bad idea and I should just cut it out entirely but after a week of trying I just cant I cannot it is too difficult

Right so I'm 174cm which is abt 5'8 ½ which is pretty tall for a girl

I used to be very insecure about my height thinking it made me uglier and less desirable cuz I had a terrible terrible need for male validation that i simply never got when I was younger.

I have gotten over that now and honestly tall girls are so gorgeous and pretty.

But like shorter girls keep fucking complaining about "I can't wear these shoes I'll be too tall" right in front of me like WHAT

Ok ur shorter then me ur literally average height why are you complaining abt shoes, like I'm not even THAT tall and I've gotten over this whole shoe problem

But gosh fucking pissed me off

yesterday

This girl is talking to me abt wanting to get new shoes but she says "I'll be too tall with them"

uhhh no???? No you wont

She said "I'll be like the same height as you"

Uhhh

Girl

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING

Why is being my height bad

Literally I dont get it

174cm is a perfectly perfect height

Why is she saying this backhanded shit