I Love Dexter

Writing songs because killing myself is "selfish"

Finally broke up thank you lord for the courage !

#imjustagirl

Anyone else ever cry because of a friends death but without them being dead. Like they are alive and well and i fully know this fact so why was i breaking out into borderline hyperventilation about their death

I just had the most extreme urge to relapse into sh again but then I had a poo and now I don't have the urge anymore

How do you start liking the men who actually want you instead of the ones who treat you poorly and dont care about you???

Asking for a friend...

Ok so he said he still wants to be chill but we haven't really spoken since we broke up but like I put a hot picture on my insta story he liked it

HE WANTS ME BACK

Or he just tryna show we chill

HE BETTER WANT ME BACK

Childhood loneliness

I keep having flashbacks.

Not full fledged images.

My memory doesnt work like that.

All i remember is the painful emptiness.

The time i spent all on my own.

Because noone cared.

Noone ever has and I'm finding the will hard to locate.

Am i made to be a solitary creature.

Is this a prison.

A chamber where god has put me.

Made me forget all my sins.

Only thing he left me with.

Agonising desertion

Isolation beyond explaint

Why forsake me lord?

You made me this way.

You want your creations to be happy?

Then who made me.

You want me to believe.

How can i?

You refuse to send me a sign.

You want me dead.

But every chance you get you ignore.

What do you want from me?

Addiction sucks because you get so deep into it that you dont know how to live without your substance. Life without it feels so lacklustre. You lose track of who you are

I am an alcoholic trying to recover but living without is so hard for me.

This is my plan

I will start drinking in secret to try reduce my alc intake cuz trying to go sober is really hard, idk how to act sober, idk who I am sober, idk how to feel normal sober

It just doesnt work for me

Trying to stay sober while everyone around you is either street drinking or clubbing is so hard

I'm 18 why do I have to struggle like this

The only way I will feel happy without blacking out or doing stupid shit is if i keep drinking but without telling anyone,

Doing it in secret because then I will be worried about people knowing so I will be forced to drink less but I still get to have the clutch that makes me likeable and able to actually enjoy my time

I know this is a bad idea and I should just cut it out entirely but after a week of trying I just cant I cannot it is too difficult