The “i Wanna Go Home” Never Leaves My Head Even When I’m Physically Sitting In My Bed

growing up is terrifying i wasn’t supposed to make it this far and now my future depends on me and i have to make wise choices and decisions and i’m just sitting here like a clueless little kid

I cant fucking do this

Like I cant handle anything

Idk what to do

I cant i just cant I csnt

at this point, sinking back into my depression is like a warm hug. finding comfort in this is sadness is so natural. i know i was meant to feel this.

Yeah why im in so much pain i feel like im dying why not just be dying

Why isnt the suffocation from depression enough to kill me?

Just a poem I wrote..

So let the winds carry my body,

To brighter places, where you might be,

Lift me up above the clouds

I’ll search all of Tennessee

I wish I didn’t have to unlove,

But know, in dreams, you’re still my dove

A love that never quite got to run

We walked, we crawled, and laid to rest under the sun

I wish I didn’t have to unlove

A bottomless black hole I see

Where nothing lives, and sadness feeds

A soul rotting into the other

Decomposing in the depths of eternity

In the vast darkness that entangles me

I’ll always remember you in the fall

That’s where it first began

I wish I didn’t have to unlove you at all.

I just wanna stick a knife in my arm

Please excuse me while I struggle with major depressive disorder, post partum depressive disorder, low support asd, inattentive adhd, bpd, cptsd, multiple anxiety disorders, panic disorder, ocd, gender dysphoria, wanting to kms, cvutting myself, and thinking everything i do is wrong and everyone hates me

But im fine and here for you!!

"How do you cope with your disorders?"

I don't.

Cvts myself

Decided im done and bored

Why's this hurt im annoyed now