Jason: No, Don't-!

Jason, who has only seen Mary Poppins once and can't quite remember the plot: ??? So which is it????

Jason: You have that glint in your eye that either says 'I'm Mary Poppins' or 'I'm going to dump your body in that chasm river.'

Salim: We'll never know which it is!

Nick: Hey we should do this insane dangerous thing that would get us all killed!

Jason: My beautiful baby angel child who can do no wrong, you are usually right but in this case I'm going to have to ask you to sit this one out.

Nick: Aw, okay :(

Eric: Or, we could-

Jason: *shoots him dead*

Jason when he disagrees with Nick: I’m sorry buddy, but no.

Jason when he disagrees with Eric:

Jason, laughing:

Eric: Jason, this is my life.

Jason, still laughing: I know, it just sucks!

Jason: Yeah, don’t worry Salim, we had a great time at the pumpkin patch! isn’t that right Zain?

*a pumpkin strapped in the backseat*

Jason: I’m gonna have to call you back

Jason, watching Zain steal something: Man, what an idiot, where are his parents?

Jason:

Jason: Oh shit, I am the parent

Salim: I raised a man with a softer heart than the world deserves.

Salim, raising his stake: fortunately for him, my mother cannot say the same

Nick: Do you support gay rights?

Jason: I am literally dating Salim.

Clarisse: He's dodging the question.

Jason: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.

Nick: Did Salim say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'?

Jason: DUE TO PERSONAL REASONS–

Salim: Is this... normal for them?

Jason: Yeah, trust me, it's normal for everyone, hey Salim, do you wanna... get outta here?

Salim: And go where? Home? We just got here.

Jason: Right... wait did Merwin just come out-?

Merwin: Joey, I'm gonna pretend for a second that you're my wife and that we have children,

Jason: You know they kicked Robin Williams out of Juilliard?

Nick: Really? Oh, man, what'd he play?