Jason: I Don’t Think Rachel Is Very Happy With You

Eric: Okay, give me a topic.

Jason: 9/11.

Nick: The olympics!

Joey: The 9/11 olympics!

Eric: Alright, so my choices are-

Merwin: They hit the THIRD tower, it's a world record!!

Dude, it’s like Rick went through everyone’s solangelo headcannons and went “uhhhh... yeah, I can do that”

Pre-marines Jason: it’s always ‘how high are you’ and not ‘hi, how are you?’ 

Jason: three likes and i'll run Clarisse through with a sword

Jason: *likes his own post*

Eric: *likes the post*

Rachel: >:0

Nick:

Nick: *likes the post*

Jason: okay this was a joke but now i just feel bad post cancelled

Rachel: Why is it that men look so peaceful when they're asleep? Like they aren't actively ruining my life when they're awake?

Salim: Sleep is just death being shy, and no man can hate a woman when he's dead.

Rachel: What the fuck.

Jason, who has only seen Mary Poppins once and can't quite remember the plot: ??? So which is it????

Jason: You have that glint in your eye that either says 'I'm Mary Poppins' or 'I'm going to dump your body in that chasm river.'

Salim: We'll never know which it is!

Eric: I can’t mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this one boys.

Eric: Manslaughter it is

Salim: I raised a man with a softer heart than the world deserves.

Salim, raising his stake: fortunately for him, my mother cannot say the same

Salim: Jason, what is your favourite book?

Jason: Favorite book? ...Do Kim Kardashian's tweets count?

Salim: ...No.

the year is 2003

Salim: [trying to bond with his boyfriend] hey Jason! i got us tickets for this new underground band, i think they're called Michael- Michael Romance?

Jason:

Jason: YOU GOT US TICKETS TO FUCKING MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE?!?