Pre-marines Jason: It’s Always ‘how High Are You’ And Not ‘hi, How Are You?’ 

Eric: *complaining about Nick*

Eric: He went to a state school

Rachel: So did I

Eric: He’s skinny and pretty

Rachel: So am I

Eric: He’s annoying

Rachel: So are you

Jason: Why are you so mad at me? Is it because I slept with your dad?

Zain: YOU WHAT?

Jason: fuck, so it wasn’t that

Nick: What's your favorite color?

Rachel: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature.

Nick: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP?

Rachel: My favorite color is blue.

kettles

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

zain taking an astronomy class like: ....

Jason: i don’t believe in the moon

Jason: i just think it’s the back of the sun

Zain:..

Jason: alright, listen up you little shits

Jason: not you, Salim, you’re an angel and i’m glad you’re here

Nick: Aw, no batteries :(

Eric: Aw, what were you gonna do?

Nick: Shine a really bright flashlight in your eyes...

Jason: But Chernobyl's so silly!

Nick: You can't say that, you're Russian!!!

Nick, holding a deck of cards: Who wants a tarot reading!?

Eric: Those are Pokemon cards

Nick, holding a card: You got a Squirtle, it means fuck you

Jason: Be myself? I have a day to win over Zain. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Nick: Couple weeks.

Rachel: Six months.

Eric: Jury’s still out.

Jason: See? “be yourself”, seriously, Nicky? What kind of garbage advice is that?