Rachel: Why Are You Smiling? Nick: What, Can't I Just Be Happy? Jason: Eric Tripped And Fell Outside.

Zain: *watching TV*

Jason: Ah, you're watching Sailor Moon? I love that anime. The way they just–

Jason: *clenches fist*

Jason: Sail all those fricking moons.

Salim: Jason, can you do me a favour ?

Jason: i would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my dna at the crime scene and take the blame for you.

Salim: cool i guess ? can you do the dishes please ?

Jason: no.

Jason: The alphabet is somewhere between 25-27 letters.

Nick: Oh yeah, it used to be 28 but they got rid of some letters due to budget cuts.

Jason, counting on his fingers: No, yeah, it's 26.

Nick: THAT WASN'T A BIT?!?!?!?

Jason: Let's play twenty questions

Salim: Sure, what's your favorite color?

Jason: Circle. Are you into guys?

Interviewer: what kind of guy do you prefer?

Rachel: my boyfriend.

Interviewer: how about you? what kind of girl do you like?

Eric: Rachel’s boyfriend.

Jason: *extremely drunk, starts colouring Salim with a highlighter*

Salim: Erm... What are you doing?

Jason: Highlighting you.

Salim: Yes, I see that... Why?

Jason: Cuz you're important.

*nick and eric start dating*

Rachel, bewildered: What the hell just happened? Jason: Something gay lmao Rachel: You’re gay

Salim: for me!

Eric: This is my wife, Rachel, and her boyfriend, Nick. Who is also my boyfriend.

Salim: Have you guys seen Jason?

Rachel: No, haven’t seen him since the storm started

Nick: Since the sto- JASON NO!

Meanwhile, Jason standing in the middle of a thunderstorm with a shovel raised high: STRIKE ME DOWN ZEUS, YOU DON’T HAVE THE BALLS

the funny thing about this is that Jason is actually a war criminal

Salim: can't believe i'm the first ever bisexual war criminal ❤ love wins