Salim: Why The Hell Is There Blood Everywhere?

Jason: How do you know how to kiss? like who teaches you?

Salim: Well it’s actually a class, but sadly it’s full at the moment now.

Salim: Would you like private lessons?

Nick: Damn that was smooth.

Nick: We need to get through this locked door. Eric, give me your credit card.

Eric: Here.

Nick, pocketing it: Jason, break down the door.

Jason: *extremely drunk, starts colouring Salim with a highlighter*

Salim: Erm... What are you doing?

Jason: Highlighting you.

Salim: Yes, I see that... Why?

Jason: Cuz you're important.

Jason: Do any of us have good relationships with our dads?

Nick: Well-

Eric: I do! I love my dad.

Rachel: You're like a disney adult about specifically that guy.

Eric: My dad's the best :)

salim is jason’s manic pixie dream boy

I’m definitely not supposed to be doing maths

Maths work???? On my desk????????? Nooooo

Salim: Crushes are the worst.

Jason: Right. Whenever I'm near someone I have a crush on, I start acting stupid.

Salim: You're always acting stupid.

Jason: Yeah... don't think about that too hard.

Salim, thinking about Jason: I could fix him

Jason, thinking about Salim: I could make him worse

Salim: Jason, can you do me a favour ?

Jason: i would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my dna at the crime scene and take the blame for you.

Salim: cool i guess ? can you do the dishes please ?

Jason: no.