Jason: OK I’M GIVING YOU TEN SECONDS TO TELL ME WHO ATE MY OREOS BEFORE I START WREAKING HAVOC ON YOUR

Dude, it’s like Rick went through everyone’s solangelo headcannons and went “uhhhh... yeah, I can do that”

Rachel: WhY does this hallway smell like dater-pe???

Nick: Merwin uses a really strong cologne.

Jason: Overactive sweat glands, you know how it is.

Merwin: I smell fine!!

Rachel: Shower. Now.

*nick and eric start dating*

Rachel, bewildered: What the hell just happened? Jason: Something gay lmao Rachel: You’re gay

Salim: for me!

Jason: Be myself? I have a day to win over Zain. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Nick: Couple weeks.

Rachel: Six months.

Eric: Jury’s still out.

Jason: See? “be yourself”, seriously, Nicky? What kind of garbage advice is that?

Jason: GOOGLE SHABOOZEY RIGHT NOW.

Nick: I know who Shaboozey is.

Jason: GO TO GOOGLE.COM AND GOOGLE SHABOOZEY RIGHT NOW.

Salim: Who is Shaboozey?? Okay I'll Google him. OH!!

Jason: I DISCOVERED THIS WHEN I DECIDED TO GOOGLE SHABOOZEY ONCE.

Nick: Please tell me you didn’t kidnap him, Jason?

Jason, carrying Zain: I didn’t kidnap him

Nick: Oh thank god

Jason: I adopted him

Jason: idk bro, i should probably kiss him

Eric:

Nick:

Rachel:

Salim:

Jason: what?

-eric interrogating Salim-

Eric: Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole, truth, and nothing but the truth?

Salim: no

Eric:

eric, into his walkie talkie: what do I do now?

how dare y'all kill ashley tisdale (also rachel is like the best character fight me she deserves the WORLD and a kiss on the forehead)

Alternatively

Jason: ow! son of a bi-

Salim pointing to Zain: Jason! children!

Jason: … isexual. son of a bisexual.

Semper Fi? more like Simper Fi, amirite?