Muggles Are Not Able To REBLOG This.

friend referred to Jason as Male Wife Two-One Actual the other day and I still haven't recovered

I can totally see Phil being freaked out when he hears Tommy talking in his sleep and getting Fundy and Tubbo to perform a dreamon exorcism on him and Tubbo just goes along with it

Tubbo: Tommy sometimes talks in his sleep. It’s cute.

Tommy, mumbling in his sleep: fight me… motherfucker… square up bitch… I think the fuck not…

submitted by: @fornfish

Salim: Why the hell is there blood everywhere?

Vampire!Jason: Well, you see, it's simple color theory-

Zain, reading a book Jason gave him: Baba, what's a brothel?

Salim, after a long pause: It's a place where they make soup.

Nick: Hey, Jason? Can I get some dating advice?

Jason, sighing: Just because I'm with Salim doesn't mean I know how I did it.

Nick: Hey we should do this insane dangerous thing that would get us all killed!

Jason: My beautiful baby angel child who can do no wrong, you are usually right but in this case I'm going to have to ask you to sit this one out.

Nick: Aw, okay :(

Eric: Or, we could-

Jason: *shoots him dead*

Jason when he disagrees with Nick: I’m sorry buddy, but no.

Jason when he disagrees with Eric:

Eric: You fight like my ex-wife!

Nick: I'm dating your ex-wife. That's a compliment.

Salim, whose first language isn’t English: Hello! I’m sorry if my English isn’t very good.

Jason, whose first language is English: Hte fuckign.

Nick: Is it just me or has Jason gotten smarter since he started fucking Salim?

Rachel: No, no, you're right. Is it some kind of STI?

Nick: Sexually Transmitted Intelligence.

Semper Fi? more like Simper Fi, amirite?