Oftentjmes I Look At My Arm And Think ‘wow I Could Easily Have Blood Drawn From That Spot Right There’

ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal

watching the latest sad boyz podcast episode and i CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH how much i LOVE jarvis laughing. It's like my favourite thing about the podcast -- he fucking EMOTES. every week i look forward to jarvis watching a stupid goofy clip and promtly throwing his head back and letting out the most genuine and cathartic laugh i have ever heard.

live house reaction

awww 🥹

some of the kindest people you’ll ever meet are blogging about blood and guts at 10 in the morning

at barnes and noble rn and i can tell you the second i get a job i am spending ALL my disposable income buying books oh my gog

when the mouse bites start kicking in

when i was younger, all i wanted was to stay up forever. i would hide my laptop under the covers to watch videos and play minecraft, and when that inevitably got taken, i would hide a book and a little light under the covers instead and read until i fell asleep on the pages. people used to brag about not sleeping, outdoing each other with less and less hours of rest, and i felt like a king because i could never fall asleep if i tried. but now that life is so incredibly busy and stressful yet simultaneously dull, insomnia has revealed itself as the curse it is. all i want to do is sleep and sleep and never wake up. my mother, who used to confiscate my computer and books and phone so i would go to sleep, now instead gets angry at me if i take a nap or go to bed too early. there’s too much work to be done for me to be ‘lazy’. but i am tired. i am so very tired. all i want to do is sleep. and sleep. and maybe have a nice dream where i’m happy and carefree and i never have to wake up.

one day everything happening rn will be nothing more than an apush unit

one time I had a dream that I unlocked a secret never-before-discovered achievement in Disco Elysium by squeezing into various nooks and crannies and got a special copotype called “Crevice Cop: seek out and inhabit crevices like some kind of man-spider” and I thought yeah!!! man-spider!!! crevice cop!!! this game GETS me!!!

and then I woke up to find that I had fallen partially down into the gap between my partner’s bed and the wall and was horrifically contorted and in agonizing bodily pain from sleeping in a position only comfortable to a brown recluse

also— have to share this amazing book title:

“Death in the Downline: A multi-level marketing murder mystery”.

oh my god. that’s actually fucking hilarious.