When I Was Younger, All I Wanted Was To Stay Up Forever. I Would Hide My Laptop Under The Covers To Watch

when i was younger, all i wanted was to stay up forever. i would hide my laptop under the covers to watch videos and play minecraft, and when that inevitably got taken, i would hide a book and a little light under the covers instead and read until i fell asleep on the pages. people used to brag about not sleeping, outdoing each other with less and less hours of rest, and i felt like a king because i could never fall asleep if i tried. but now that life is so incredibly busy and stressful yet simultaneously dull, insomnia has revealed itself as the curse it is. all i want to do is sleep and sleep and never wake up. my mother, who used to confiscate my computer and books and phone so i would go to sleep, now instead gets angry at me if i take a nap or go to bed too early. there’s too much work to be done for me to be ‘lazy’. but i am tired. i am so very tired. all i want to do is sleep. and sleep. and maybe have a nice dream where i’m happy and carefree and i never have to wake up.