Idc If This Sounds Stupid But My Newest Favorite Thing In The World That I Just Discovered On Monday

sometimes you find yourself sitting on a curb in front of the dumpsters and next to the sewer, looking up at the fancy high-rises around you and wondering where the fuck it all went wrong

stonks

yesterday i was actively fighting tears while staring at ducks and listening to clairo in the park on my lunch break and i think that tells you all you need to know about my mental state right now

all the #joever memes have just made me realize it was prounounced like "over" and not "forever"...

you ever saved a reel to show someone but instead of your friend it's you in the future and you're stifling laughter imagining future you stumbling upon the reel and remembering this moment because i just did

just got my first good morning text and ew i dont like it i dont like it

i think this goes hand-in-hand with my post from yesterday... GET UR HEAD OUT OF UR ASS AND START LIVING RAH

okay so you know how last week i had a REALLY SUCCESSFUL WORK CRUSH INTERACTION (granted i did absolutely nothing to prompt it but i do think bc i looked Very Cute (see: hair was wavy and was wearing my uo shirt with my zara slacks) and this was like the one time we were working in the same shift wc decided to take initiative? a girl can dream)

now i rarely see wc- they always schedule us opposite and so today this was like the only time im gonna interact with him until next week and dude. i fumbled so hard....... well to be accurate, i guess to fumble you have to be playing the game. but i was so blech today mainly just really tired and hella out of it and i said hi first but i said it super blechhhhh and then later i saw wc on the line and i was tryna get bread and wc was like HEY WHATS GOOD (not psychotic but very energetic) and i was like 🥹👍 and scampered off bc of chaos. also bc i think the fact that my brain defaults to "no one Reallllly wants to talk to you" and i therefore treat everyone like that i come off super chajkakaoainwnsna like i hope wc doesn't think i hate them...... it's actually quite the opposite... also bc i felt super shitty today. udsghsnakakan i hope we have a shift together this week bc i think we'd really vibe...... ugh just broccoli things i guess rip

i just took 30 ml of nyquil and i think i know what self love means now

okay am Heavily dreading hangout tmrw barf barf blech. am only happy bc will get to eat green curry for dinner. would be fine if he didn't text like a moron. already knew i hated when men say shit like "good girl," but did not realize how much i hate when men call me the following over text: "ma'am" and "miss [insert neighborhood i live in]." like wtf we barely know each other it's not even funny. also he only said "ma'am" i think bc i was taking most of the initiative in deciding shit for this hangout bc he's stupid. he's the one that texted to hangout first like grow a pair?!? he asks me what to eat. i ask asian or western. he says asian. i give several options. he picks one. i then suggest the time (i thought he would but it's only because i forgot he's stupid- i would also like to note he specifically asked for my number under the guise of determining a time for the hangout), to which he says "yes ma'am." like GOD FORBID A WOMAN TAKE INITIATIVE BC YOU'RE NOT DOING JACKSHIT. LIKE WHY AM I MA'AM ALL OF A SUDDEN. LIKE EW. WTF. i was gonna buy dinner to atone for ghosting last year but now im so traumatized i feel he owes me further compensation. please send help and thoughts and wishes and prayers and whatever tf because i'm gonna need to be severely liquored and/or drugged up to get to and survive tmrw night