Just Got My First Good Morning Text And Ew I Dont Like It I Dont Like It

all the #joever memes have just made me realize it was prounounced like "over" and not "forever"...

istg if i don't move out soon i'm buying a fkn vape i've tried so hard to fight it but sometimes a girl's gotta smoke a joint in the bathtub and she can't do that with her parents next door

ugh almost got ASSAULTED by a bee ew like keep your chubby furry body away from me

no bc i was thinking abt this the other day when sk8r boi came on... how did i casually forget about my obsession with having a skater boyfriend when that used to be all i thought about when it came to men

it's 3:28am and i am so exhausted but i literally cannot fall asleep because i am too excited to eat pizza tmrw why am i literally a rat in nyc

fuck yeah just did yoga feel fresh and new and peaceful and calm intentions have been set body has been stretched and exercised i am so fkn ready to get ready for bed and attack tomorrow

okay am Heavily dreading hangout tmrw barf barf blech. am only happy bc will get to eat green curry for dinner. would be fine if he didn't text like a moron. already knew i hated when men say shit like "good girl," but did not realize how much i hate when men call me the following over text: "ma'am" and "miss [insert neighborhood i live in]." like wtf we barely know each other it's not even funny. also he only said "ma'am" i think bc i was taking most of the initiative in deciding shit for this hangout bc he's stupid. he's the one that texted to hangout first like grow a pair?!? he asks me what to eat. i ask asian or western. he says asian. i give several options. he picks one. i then suggest the time (i thought he would but it's only because i forgot he's stupid- i would also like to note he specifically asked for my number under the guise of determining a time for the hangout), to which he says "yes ma'am." like GOD FORBID A WOMAN TAKE INITIATIVE BC YOU'RE NOT DOING JACKSHIT. LIKE WHY AM I MA'AM ALL OF A SUDDEN. LIKE EW. WTF. i was gonna buy dinner to atone for ghosting last year but now im so traumatized i feel he owes me further compensation. please send help and thoughts and wishes and prayers and whatever tf because i'm gonna need to be severely liquored and/or drugged up to get to and survive tmrw night

my version of "marry me" pasta

tried other people's but was too bland so made it my way... all these vanilla people no seasoning

enough to feed a family of 5

1 lb. linguine

1 bag parmesan (6 oz.)

1 jar napoleon sundried tomato halves (7.7 oz)

1 bottle heavy cream (1 pint)

1 orange bell pepper (in slices)

1 yellow bell pepper (in slices)

1 entire bulb of garlic (in slices)

1.23 lbs chicken tenders meat

garlic --> bell peppers (~10-15 min) --> chicken --> tomato (cut in slices, try to get all the goodies at bottom of jar) --> heavy cream --> (optional: add maybe 3/4 c. milk to heavy cream bottle, shake, and add) --> start boiling water --> keep stirring while water boils and pasta cooks --> 1 min before pasta ready add parmesan to sauce after taking sauce off heat --> mix --> add pasta

aaaaaaaaaand then after ur emo break someone makes everything feel okay <3 i love my manager sometimes

so storytime. last august i met up with my cousin and his friend who had just moved up here, but tbh i didn't really have fun (probs has to do with the fact that they grew up in a Very different tax bracket and we thus have Very different views on life, politics, morals, etc....). so when he requested to follow me on instagram i ignored it for like. two months until i felt bad and accepted and followed him back. he then dm'd (just to clarify, he has a gf i think he's just lonely in a new city and would like a friend) and we dm'd a little until i decided to just ghost him bc i was so over it :D fast forward to last week i was feeling guiltier than usual about my past actions and decided to just dm him back feigning apologies. and now we're hanging out friday and he wants my number to determine the time? like why sir we r communicating just fine via instagram. i don't need another form of communication through which i must ghost you when neither of us have fun on friday. so anyways i hate myself